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Ex boyfriend

(18 Posts)
Lucygrace27 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:49:53

Hi all, I know this may be a stupid question but.. I understand harassment warnings. They only problem I have is my ex is living with his parents and is 18. He most Defo didn't want to break up with me, was begging me never to leave him. But then 30 minutes from arriving home his parents wanted to speak with him and this is when I got sent a message saying we could no longer be together.. I tried to call him to get answers.. So kept on calling.. I text both his parents and there reponse was he didn't want to speak with me.. They had taken his phone off him.. And I was blocked on everything including snapchat👊🏽 I spoke to a couple of friends and they tried to contact him as they new it didn't seem like him.. Then it just got worse. I received a phone call from police officer explaining that I'm no longer able to contact him in any form and if I did then I would be arrested for harassment. I asked all the questions on was this influenced by his parents and they answer was yes.. Police officer said that he is old enough to say no I don't want this to happen but he decided not to.. Yeah it's over but I need answers. But what's the difference with recieving a phone call from police and a letter? How long does the warning last?
He lives 1 hour away so it's not easy to just bump into him. Any advise please

MrsGsnow18 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:51:21

Sorry but I think you'll have to just leave him be.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Tue 16-Aug-16 17:55:27

Leave well alone.

If you believe that he is being influenced by his parents he isn't worth being around anyway. You won't get the answers you want, and, quite frankly, the fact you want advise on harassing someone further after having the police tell you to leave well alone is terrifying.

LottieL Tue 16-Aug-16 17:55:45

It sounds from your post that you broke up with him (I may be reading between the lines but I refer to you saying he definitely didn't want to break up). If so, leave him be. Even if the split was a joint decision leave him alone. You don't really need to know the why and wherefore, just let it go 🙂

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:57:04

You need to leave him alone, he has a right to end the relationship for any reason he likes, you're 18, no kids, don't live together etc - he doesn't owe you an explanation.

What you are doing is harassment and if you carry on you're going to end up with a criminal record. Delete his number and move on. You're young, free and single, go out and enjoy yourself - don't waste your time pining after someone who isn't interested.

DoreenLethal Tue 16-Aug-16 18:03:14

If he is young enough to be influenced by his parents then he is too young for an adult relationship...leave him be - you don't need answers just assume that the answer is no.

WeAreEternal Tue 16-Aug-16 18:03:57

A warning is a warning regardless of wether it is verbal or in writing.
A police warning doesn't have a time limit, in other words if they call the police again because you are harassing him it doesn't matter if it has been a week, a month or a year, you have already been warned to leave him alone and you will be in trouble.

I know it's going to be hard but I would suggest you just let it go, maybe he will contact you, maybe you will never know what happened but regardless he is an adult, if he wanted to contact you he would.

TomVeiga Tue 16-Aug-16 18:06:55

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MagnumAddict Tue 16-Aug-16 18:15:33

It sounds like he's been a bit gutless op and not wanted to have a difficult conversation. Not that surprising since he's only 18. Are you the same age?

I understand rejection can be tough but do you want your wedding speech to include that time you were given a warning for harassment? He's not the one for you. Don't waste any more energy and potentially get yourself into some serious trouble

Lucygrace27 Tue 16-Aug-16 18:53:06

Thanks for all the comments, I explain I'm not weirdo.. As in ever harassing anyone I just wanted answers. I'm 22 so not the same age no.. Yeah I think it's gone way too far with the Police.. Getting them involved was silly! And I get that but really any normal person would Defo call to see why? And I guess I'm different as in I couldn't break up with someone over a text.. It's awful yeah break ups aren't nice but everyone deserves and reason.. Because I generally think it was his parents what parents take there phone of an 18 year old and look through his phone? It's just not normal! I need to be strong and I get that but it bloody killing.. Don't understand how anyone could do that to someone.. When 30 minutes before practacly begging never to leave him and then just ending it.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Tue 16-Aug-16 18:58:24

Some people are cowardly and say what they think you want to hear to your face then just stop contact.

It's not a nice thing to do but he doesn't deserve for himself or his family to be harassed by you and your friends.

What he did was immoral. What you are doing is illegal.

Lucygrace27 Tue 16-Aug-16 19:00:33

I didn't even harrass him. The police woman basically said if I was you I'd keep far away from them. He isn't worth it. He's 18 and immature and you don't need that in your life.. But doesn't take away the fact that I love him

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Tue 16-Aug-16 19:04:18

You continually called. You messaged both his parents. Then you got your friends to call when you realised that he blocked you. That is harassment.

The police woman taking the nice approach. Next time they won't be so nice.

Lucygrace27 Tue 16-Aug-16 19:12:25

Wouldn't you?

Lucygrace27 Tue 16-Aug-16 19:14:17

I won't ever contact him again.. That's not the issue.. It's the fact it came to this.. When they owe me money.. All I wanted to do was speak to him.. Money is no issue its just the principle of it

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Tue 16-Aug-16 19:14:38

Nope. I'd call a couple of times. Realise I was being ignored and keep my dignity.

Lucygrace27 Tue 16-Aug-16 19:16:35

People do strange things at heart breaking times like that. I ain't proud of it I would change it if I could.. But people learn from mistakes

Zucker Tue 16-Aug-16 19:19:11

His parents have obviously taken against you for whatever reasons. You're never going to get any explanation to you satisfaction with this. Delete all contacts you have for the entire family including social media and move on.

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