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AIBU to feel aggrieved and what can I do about it?

(19 Posts)
Miloarmadillo1 Tue 18-Apr-17 14:57:06

We used to live next door to an elderly couple who employed a gardener to maintain their beautiful garden, their pride and joy. They died and the house has been sold to an Asian family who have systematically razed all the mature shrubs to the ground and burned them. Our boundary is a 3-4ft stone wall and a line of trees/large shrubs, planted on either side but the crowns overhang the wall. On our side is a huge Clematis Montana that grew through a fig tree on our side but mostly through a large hawthorn on theirs. All of this is well established long before we bought our house. The new neighbour's have cut through the climber on their side of the wall, killing 90% of it. I assume the hawthorn is for the chop too, but at the moment instead of the full spring glory of C Montana I have a load of dead climber hanging over into my garden. Once they have finished vandalising the garden we will have no privacy because the wall is not high enough, we both relied on the 'green screen' above. Next door to them is a HMO with high fire escapes on which people congregate in summer, now with a nice view straight into our garden. I know they are within their rights if not their right mind to do what they want on their property though it makes me sad. Do you think C Montana will survive the butchery? Do you have any ideas how we can regain some privacy?

Miloarmadillo1 Tue 18-Apr-17 14:58:22

Neighbours, excuse stray apostrophe!

TheSpottedZebra Tue 18-Apr-17 14:59:33

Is it very relevant that they are Asian?

gleam Tue 18-Apr-17 15:02:58

They don't have a gardening tradition, perhaps?

Can you put up a tall trellis - montana would cover it quickly. Or one of those sail things over your seating area.

HecateAntaia Tue 18-Apr-17 15:03:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloggybollocks Tue 18-Apr-17 15:04:38

You lost me at 'asian'.....seriously?! Do fuck off.

freshmaker3000 Tue 18-Apr-17 15:07:43

Forced to live next door to elderly people, then next to an Asian family?! However have you coped?

Let the plant grow back and stop being a bigot.

TheSpottedZebra Tue 18-Apr-17 15:07:57

They don't have a gardening tradition, perhaps?

Pretty sure they have gardens and gardening in Asia. I'd bet my trowel on it.

GinAndTunic Tue 18-Apr-17 15:09:42


You'll have to learn to live with your Asian neighbours and their vandalistic ways, I am afraid. Or move so that you have more refained neighbours.

Hoppinggreen Tue 18-Apr-17 15:12:33

I agree that In very general terms quite a few Asian families adopt a slash and burn approach to gardening but causcasion families do too.
My previous garden loving neighbours would weep to see what has been done over the past year to the garden after they left but you really can do whatever you want to your own garden.
I have quite a few friends who's parents came to England from Pakistan and they laugh about their parents " pave it " attitude to gardening.
It's not necessarily wrong, just different.
I did have a fun half an hour last week explaining to our neighbours why they couldn't cut back the protected trees belonging to the council that overhang their garden. I don't think they believed me and went ahead anyway ( probably because they are arseholes rather than anything to do with their ethnicity) and they are now facing a fine of up to £2500 per tree - oh well, I tried

Miloarmadillo1 Tue 18-Apr-17 16:37:21

It's relevant that they are Asian only because it seems to be part of their culture to pave over everything. We are on friendly terms with them, their grandchildren have been playing round at our house today. I don't particularly want neighbours looking right into our garden or to have an uninterrupted view of their washing on the line/blackened stumps of once glorious trees. We loved the previous neighbours, I am still sad that they died and I'm very sad to see the garden they loved vandalised. I totally accept that's my issue and the new neighbours have a right to do what they like on their side of the boundary, even when it involves damaging my plants. Would anybody care to answer the gardening question I.e is a mature clematis likely to survive having 90% of stems hacked through just before it is due to flower?

monkeywithacowface Tue 18-Apr-17 16:42:02

Ahh yes I do believe crazy paving was traditionally associated with Asian cultures hmm

How does one "vandalise" one's own garden?

bigmack Tue 18-Apr-17 16:45:42

They have not vandalised their own garden.

bigmack Tue 18-Apr-17 16:46:39

How have they damaged your plants?

AtrociousCircumstance Tue 18-Apr-17 16:49:46

It's their garden.

Highlighting that they're Asian and claiming the paving is somehow cultural makes you sound idiotic.

Chippednailvarnishing Tue 18-Apr-17 16:53:08

Nothing better than a sweeping generalisation of a group of people who are a different race to you.

gleam Tue 18-Apr-17 17:37:50

I think montana would probably survive a nuclear attack. wink The root's on your side, why wouldn't it survive?

I did answer your question about privacy.

Trethew Tue 18-Apr-17 18:20:06

Clematis montana don't need regular routine pruning. But, if or when they outgrow their allotted space the remedy is to cut them hard back after flowering. Though it has probably not flowered yet I would bet that it will survive and regrow with lots of whippy purple shoots very quickly. Just no flowers this year. Make sure it has something to cling on to. And give it a feed.

R1nderCella Tue 18-Apr-17 18:41:17

I'm can assure you it is not part of an Asian's culture to pave over 'everything' - my gardening invoice proves otherwise. What utter bollocks OP, seriously give your head a wobble.

I think you should have started your thread with 'new neighbours have moved in and ...' I would never dream of saying my White or Iranian neighbour.

YANBU to maintain your privacy within your boundary, in whichever way you choose.

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