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Why is it so hard to get rid of individuals you hate?

(21 Posts)
shovetheholly Thu 09-Mar-17 14:33:43

I just decided enough is enough. I have an awful hypericum calycinum. He was in the garden when I moved in, having survived years of brambles, couch grass and utter neglect (testament to how bombproof he is). I don't know why I kept him. I think I had some mistaken idea that it might be 'nice' to have some continuity from previous versions of the garden.

He's been sitting there ever since, soaking up nutrients, looking ugly, spreading all over the place, and flowering for less than a week each year.

I am amazed I have put up with this ungrateful individual for so long. I could honestly give you no rational reason for doing so. As book knows, all I do is complain about him. He gives me nothing and rewards all my care and attention by sending runners into plants I love much better. Why have I not dug out all his stupid roots before now?

This afternoon is a red letter day, for I am about to make him an ex-plant. And should he turn up again, as hypericums are wont to do, he will be getting a sharp restraining order.

AstrantiaMajor Thu 09-Mar-17 14:44:04

LTB

FannyFifer Thu 09-Mar-17 14:48:28

Plants in my garden get a maximum of 3 years to prove their worth to me or into the brown bin they go.
The one exception is ugly tree, he's a Camperdown elm & creeps along the ground being a bastard to all my other plants, he spent 10+ years in a pot and I feel sorry for him so he stays.

shovetheholly Thu 09-Mar-17 14:51:13

See, that's what I did with this hypericum, fanny. And now I wonder why I felt any kind emotional attachment to such an ugly thug.

Half way through. He's mostly in the compost bin.

JT05 Thu 09-Mar-17 14:57:53

I hate hypericum as well! The seedlings pop up everywhere. They only good thing is the bullfinches like the seed heads, but that's why the seedlings are everywhere. You can't win?

Okite Thu 09-Mar-17 15:21:13

I had hypericum berries in my wedding bouquet - I've no idea what the plant looks like but I think I'd have kept him just for that.
Having said that, we've just had a few pyracantha ripped out - oh the relief! We've been in our house about 2 years and not touched anything so far really. They are such buggers, they kept popping all the kids' balls. im feeling inspired to wander round and see what else doesn't make the grade. We have an enormous climbing rose that I've got my eye on...

picklemepopcorn Thu 09-Mar-17 15:24:05

Oh okite if only you could send the rose to me! I've got a big climbing rose over my front door, but it has never ruddy flowered!

shovetheholly Thu 09-Mar-17 15:35:30

HE IS GONE! I am a liberated woman. I am seeing astrantia's LTB and starting a new version - CTB... compost the bastard.

pickleme -is your rose in shade? And has it been pruned? Both those things can cause blindness!

Okite Thu 09-Mar-17 15:38:04

pickle the only saving grace of our rose is that it does have masses of flowers. Unfortunately they're yellow and I'm not very keen on yellow roses. And it has massive thorns. I've got another one which is one of those ruffly roses (floribunda? I'm really not a gardener!) and it's a beautiful deep pink and smells delicious. That one is staying!

AstrantiaMajor Thu 09-Mar-17 16:06:17

Hope your Compost is a hot at hell Shove. Otherwise I can see that bugger popping up all over the place. You migh need a flame thrower. Is Hypericum that thing with the little yellow flowers that has a vile smell?

shovetheholly Thu 09-Mar-17 16:18:52

Mine doesn't smell, but yes - bright yellow flowers and used in those dismal municipal schemes where everything is designed to be trampled.

Compost seems to be on a bit of a roll at the moment - everything is mushing down incredibly quickly considering it's winter. Hopefully it'll be OK. This one spreads by horrible fibrous foots (it's stoloniferous), so I just have to make sure those are totally powdered. Fortunately, it should be easy to tell!

picklemepopcorn Thu 09-Mar-17 20:44:25

It's in lovely sunshine. I've never pruned it, I thought it was supposed to ramble. It's called Rosamundi, I think. White with perhaps a tiny hint of pink. Shall I cut it right down and see what happens? I've watered it generously, removed any competing plants near the roots etc.

Hypericum (if I am thinking of the right thing) is bright and cheery, and fills space nicely, but it is a bit boring...

didireallysaythat Thu 09-Mar-17 21:45:08

I have a cotoneaster that I have similar feelings towards. It sits, symmetrically under the front room window, glaring at me as I leave and enter the house. I cut it back, hoping it would do the decent thing and die, but no. Can't face digging it out as it's not really a border, just the edge of a gravel driveway and it literally comes out of the ground touching the house.

I should do the deed, shouldn't I ? But what to replace it with ?

bookbook Thu 09-Mar-17 23:19:48

hahaha! I missed this ( been away from computer most of the day) .
Don't you believe it - it will pop up somewhere , be vigilant grin.
My bugbear is a holly tree/bush. I think it has finally died, after 5 years of cutting down , and cutting a cross in the trunk !

shovetheholly Fri 10-Mar-17 08:00:17

I am patrolling the perimeter of its former site on a daily basis, armed with my garden knife book!! grin

I urge you all to GET RID of the crappy, nasty plants that you don't like. I feel much happier now I no longer look at that nasty thing. smile

BellaGoth Fri 10-Mar-17 08:05:50

We've got a Plant That Will Not Die. I've been battling with it for eight long years. It keeps growing back.

We have decided to build the house extension over it. That should work, right?

shovetheholly Fri 10-Mar-17 08:10:44

Bella - shock

If you build on it, then find it has neatly ensconced itself in a pot in your new room, it will be time to call the plant exorcist.

Enb76 Fri 10-Mar-17 08:14:50

I'm battling two plants that must die at all costs. One is a pink Japanese Anenome and the other is Acanthus Mollis. Hate them both because they keep popping up despite all my efforts. I think they may be immortal.

tartancoat Fri 10-Mar-17 08:17:30

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it sounds like you are now well rid, OP. What a greedy entitled bastard he was - he deserved glyphosate IMHO. Why these types don't have the self respect to up and die of their own accord I shall never understand, but I hope he's rotting in peace and you have your eye on something sturdy, vigorous and good looking that will satisfy your needs.

shovetheholly Fri 10-Mar-17 08:30:38

grin at tartan. I'm DEFINITELY going to be trading up. I have an osmunda regalis I could pop into that spot, but this is an existing plant that needs dividing and I am thereby passing up the opportunity to get out on the market and have a good look at my options wink

bookbook Fri 10-Mar-17 08:51:16

good look at my options grin
in honesty , the worst thing in my garden isn't an individual - it is bluebells. They are taking over, and I feel as if I am so diligent digging them out, not composting. And then I remember I am soft, and wait until they have flowered...
I need some backbone to start digging them out now!

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