Hello green fingered mumsnetters. I need your advice please. For the past 15 months I have been really struggling with dd's grave. No matter what I plant they either get eaten by slugs or die. It is quite open to the elements where she is. When it is sunny it is dry and is not shaded, it can be windy too, but when it rains the ground becomes very waterlogged. I think it might be clay but I put a bag of nice dark soil actually in her grave, so the soil for her flowers is nice.
Dd2 was only a baby so her headstone and kerb leaves only a little place to plant so I need something that doesn't get big or her little name will be covered.
I really need to find something that will work with limited care because we have to move overseas with DH's work, I'm heartbroken to leave her here alone anyway but the thought of her little grave looking all unloved is so very hard. She is so very very loved.
Any ideas of what I can plant would be appreciated. With much thanks 
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Please can someone help me with ideas for Dd2's grave?
3littlebadgers · 28/06/2016 17:00
My DSis when she was very young, and we had to move away shortly afterwards - it is heart-breaking .
My parents planted miniature narcissi bulbs and grassed the grave. That way the gardener is able to keep it smart for us and every spring there are lovely flowers. They also had a tiny miniature fir tree for a while, but it became wind burned and looked a bit sad.
What is rather wonderful is that, on the rare occassions we go back and visit (probably 3 or 4 times a year between us all), there are often flowers placed there by the families tending surrounding graves. It feels like she is being looked after.
My DSis died over 40 years ago now, but she remains a part of my family and both my children have visited her grave, and know all my stories about my naughty little sister.
I'm sure lots of people will come on with better suggestions. I 'm sure you'll make her resting place look lovely.
Oh thank you so much Perspicacia. the idea of others looking after your sister'so grave gave me such big, happy tears.
Can I ask after the Narcissi flowers have died do they look a bit, like daffodils do once they have died? If you get what I mean. Sorry I'm not very good with plants. 
Her gave, because of the kerb is quite small so I'm not sure the groundsmen could cut has if I planted it. I was almost tempted to put daisies and buttercups there thinking how easily they grow, and little girls love daisies and buttercups but would thy grow on just soil? And what about the winter?
Thank you so much Only. We are in West London.
I've broken down on a few people, who innocently asked how the move was going, and they reassured me she wouldn't be alone.
I think it is just for my own peace of mind. I still have this urge to care for her, it just won't go away no matter how much I try to tell myself she doesn't need it.
If I can leave her grave knowing she doesn't look unloved then people won't just think I don't care, that I stopped coming because I forgot. My poor little baby 
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I just had a look at tend a grave and it looks like I need to be UK based so that I can tend someone less grave in return. But thank you for the idea, it would have been lovely to care for someone else's loved one, although they would have got a raw deal with me looking after it 
I have been thinking about this non stop since you posted and if this was my darling girl I would..
plant some daisies- they are beautiful and I recall one of my favourite hymns as a child was "daisies are our silver- buttercups our gold"'
small bulbs as other have suggested, snowdrops, crocus ,miniature daffodils or narcissus 'tete a tete', your daughter would have loved them 
..also scilla and English bluebells, wood anemone
You could also extend this with autumn flowering bulbs such as Nerine and autumn crocus etc
This way the grave is never overwhelmed as everything goes back to the earth , coming again as new once winter has passed
"To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance"
Not sure of where overseas but it might be nice for you to have a corner of your new garden and plant the same plants and as they come up each year you know that this would be the same in the quiet corner where your little lamb's grave is. Put a little stone ornament on it and the same on your patch and know that she is being watched over by the same flowers you are watching over
Thank you all so much, such kind kind people. I love the idea of the bulbs, so she will have flowers and colour all year. We have to leave in August, do you think if I plant them now rather than autumn it'll be ok?
The snowdrops are especially lovely as her name means 'as pure as the driven snow'.
Iamhopeless I am so sorry about your little boys 
She is not that far from Heathrow if that is easy to get to. Let me know if it is and I will send you the details. Even if it isn't just the fact that you offered is so kind.
Once again thank you all x
take a scoop of earth from the top of her grave and put it down in your quiet corner in your new home. There will be a very similar type of bulbs or flowers local to where you are moving- lets face it... many of our flowers and plants we have in our gardens originated in deserts, mountains, and hot, arid conditions
P1nkPoppy the gravel sounds like a great idea too thank you ]
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