Is it possible.

[whiskeyandice]

So, after an absolutely shite year I've decided that 2020 is gonna be (cliche) "my year".

My marriage is back on track, my two kids are doing well at school. I'm in a job I love. But I realised that there's a ceiling and without a degree I'm not going to progress a great deal. With the degree my earning potential is huge. Fucking huge, like I was shocked.

I'm not silly, I'm competent and experienced in a lot of what the degree would cover.
We have reliable childcare and DH helps out with the house/kids.

I would still work FT so the degree would he PT (roughly 16 hours a week). I'll maintain my earnings/natural career progression and study.

My question is, on paper it sounds great. But the next 3-4 years with no social life, working late, juggling kids at school/extra curricular activities. Getting dinner on the table every night. AND studying.

Also, I was hoping next year to TTC and get my last baby in before I'm too old (I'm 30). We can just about manage on maternity leave if we save up beforehand. I was hoping to get a lot of work done whilst on Mat Leave.

Is this possible? Am I putting too much pressure on myself. Is it just a pipe dream? My ambition is screaming at me to go for it, but the practical planning side is thinking I'm taking on too much. Has anyone done it?!

[whiskeyandice]

@HugoSpritz I think definitely now he would pull his fair share of the weight, probably more if I was on a tight deadline. He's also supportive of me doing it. I think I'm doubting myself more than anything.
Amazing that you did it, congrats. You had a supportive partner, did you struggle at times? Or wish you could give up? How hard did you find juggling it all?
I don't want to set myself up to fail but I'm so determined to get this done.

[whiskeyandice]

Shameless bump - anyone else done it?!

[BackforGood]

30 is hardly "too old", but that aside, it is hard.
Not to find time to do 16 hours one week, but to do it week after week after week. When you have a cold or the dc are ill or the boiler breaks or the car is off the road.

If this is related to your work, and will benefit them, would it not be an option to ask them for day release ? That would give you an extra 8 hours a week, and make a massive difference. The might be up for it anyway, but if not, what about asking for it unpaid ?

[Mindgone]

I think ‘having/doing it all’ is a myth. Something has to be compromised. Your degree, your marriage or your kids/relationship with your kids. In my opinion.

[whiskeyandice]

@Mindgone could my housework be compromised? As opposed to my kids/relationship.
The degree could increase my earning potential by 50% immediately after. I could give my family so much more security.

[Mumofone87]

I’m currently doing a full time degree whilst working full time. My marriage is suffering because my OH hasn’t consistently been pulling his weight. I feel I’m constantly struggling with time. Some weeks are great, and other weeks I feel my life is falling apart. I know in the long run it will be worth it, but it is hard. I am usually one of those really organised people and thought I’d manage with everything ok, but it’s a struggle. As pp said it’s getting everything done consistently that is the issue, especially for me.

[CheesecakeFactory87]

@Mumofone87 I would be studying part time, do you think that would make a big difference to you, or is it just a struggle regardless. I just think I have to get and think of the benefits to my life and my family afterwards. But I don't want to kill myself doing it.

[Mumofone87]

So I’m at uni one day a week, and working 4 days a week, I’m still trying to carry a 5 day week workload. My degree is through work. I do my full day at uni in the Monday and then about 10-16 hours studying a week.

I don’t have the option to go part time, but I think it would be a struggle regardless. It’s just about time management and there are weeks I massively struggle with it.

I guess it’s about having the support, something I’m addressing but even that I just don’t have the time for. Me and my OH had a massive discussion about it before I even started and he said he would step up etc but it’s not working out.

I just need to focus on the fact it’s not forever, the payout at the end will be worth it. I am enjoying the course and I love learning but I would have probably have preferred to do it without having a toddler to look after, but everything in hindsight