Struggling with Year 13

[Lightuptheroom]

Son is doing 3:A levels, had problems end of year 12 and beginning of this year as college said he wasn't handing in homework etc, internal exams at end of year 12 were poor, (D D U grades) re sat beginning of this year B B C grades. Now he's getting mixed messages from tutors, they tell him they are speaking to head of college because of his 'cynicism' and they seem to intimate that they can get him thrown off the course. Communication with me has been 1 meeting beginning of this year about improving handing in work etc and nothing since. He came out of college on Friday in a complete state saying they had told him they were holding a meeting Monday and wanted a list of outstanding tasks from him and he seems to have got the idea again that they want to throw him out. I haven't had any communication from college and as far as I knew they were saying he's on track for ABB grades. He gets so despondent when they do this and seems to shut down saying it's all pointless. They seem to go on about class work/homework that he 'owes' them from last year (not assessed work or coursework related) which then confuses him.
He does have a tendency to be lazy and not do homework, but if they aren't communicating with me then how do I follow this up. Can they really ask him to leave now and what options would he have this late. It's a 6th form which is part of an independent school if that makes any difference. Should I insist on a meeting with them on Monday?

[sleepismysuperpower1]

I would ask for a meeting, with your son and yourself, to find out what is going on, and to find out what is expected from him.

[AbbieCTeacher]

My advice would be go in for a meeting and ask for a list of all outstanding tasks broken down by each subject from his teachers. Try to agree a time frame with your son and teachers that the tasks will be completed by.
It isn't in anyone's best interest for you son to leave now.
Going forward you will want to leave with a clear plan in place which will prevent it getting to this stage again. Ensure you are included in any academic issues as soon as they arise. They are young adults but they still need help and guidance. Does your son have an intended job/university course he wishes to continue onto? Sometimes this can help to drive students if striving towards certain grades/criteria. Good luck

[Lightuptheroom]

Hi, he knows what uni he wants and what course, but is full of self doubt as to what it could lead to and 'what's the point' seems to feature heavily in conversations.
He gets very despondent about the tasks which are outstanding, he seems to think they will disappear if he doesn't do them!!
Tutors seems to think threatening him will somehow make him snap out of it, he's always been more of a 'carrot' rather than a 'stick' when it comes to goals and getting to your goal.
Will have to speak to them, but they do very much go down the route of they should deal with it themselves until it's all going wrong!

[Ginfordinner]

Does he talk to you about what homework he is given? Does he write it down in his planner?

Not all 17/18 year olds are emotionally mature enough to just crack on and get on with it, and need gentle reminders from parents. This is what happened in our house when DD was doing her A levels, but she was pretty open with me about how much homework she had.

Going forward, maybe you need to be a little more involved in making sure the work gets done.