Son going to uni???

[Giraffe2206]

Hi all - this may sound ridiculous but my DS aged 19 has announced he wants to go to Uni. He is currently doing a decent apprenticeship and earning a decent wage but wants to drop this for a business degree. He says he feels too young to be doing 9 to 5 every day with a bunch of older, unambitious people that he's not learning from. He also feels isolated from people - he has just one friend at the mo. He never wanted to go to Uni whilst at 6th form - but has been saying he wants to go/no he doesn't since May this year. He has gone through clearing and has been offered a place - just waiting for accommodation now. If he goes, this would mean moving out this weekend. I cant help feeling it's so rushed, but would I be a bad mum if I didn't support him with this? My gut feeling is to stick at the apprenticeship - I always said it's a means to an end and once he gets the qualification from it he can spread his wings then. Obs there's more detail behind this, but for now this is basically what I am worrying myself sick with. His dad is not the best communicator on this topic - thinks son should join a local football team to make friends. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated - thank you.

[Ggirl27]

I can't believe this would have been a snap decision for him - if he hates his apprenticeship and feels he's not learning anything from it then he should try something new. He's going to be working for 50 years that's a long time - he should get the education while he's young and has no ties. Wish him all the best from me - he's doing a brave thing that is taking him outside of his comfort zone and needs a big pat on the back. And give yourself a pat on the back too in supporting him - big decisions are never easy and he has the self awareness to realise he needs the change.

[Giraffe2206]

Thank you Ggirl27 - sometimes I end up over-thinking and over-worrying about stuff and when you break it down to fundamentals (as you have done) it becomes clearer

[Ggirl27]

To be honest - I think I have a DS who is going to be exactly like this in a couple of years time! Mine is not mature or confident enough at the moment to make decisions about Uni although he needs to be, I can see him going on to an apprenticeship and in time realising that it's not for him and he wants more. I hope your DS has a fab time and enjoys it, and I hope you are not too stressed running around trying to get everything he needs sorted!

[corythatwas]

Speaking as a lecturer, I would far rather see someone like this on my courses: someone who has taken the time to think about what he wants out of life and is now ready to go for it, rather than a youngster who has just yielded to pressure from school and parents to go straight after Sixth Form.

[Giraffe2206]

Thank you. He has now had the offer of course and accommodation from Sheffield Hallam so we should be on our way at the weekend. I am so proud of him for being brave and thinking of the bigger picture and longer term - I think I have been focussing too much on "what if it all goes wrong" and he would have given up a good apprenticeship etc etc but at the end of the day he's not joining a rebel army - it's uni - if it does fail, he just comes home and we support him with options.

[Giraffe2206]

Thank you Ggirl27. My son has always been a quiet lad and has found decision making difficult but I know on this one at least, he will beat himself up about it if he didn't try the Uni path. Here's to a few frantic days of lists and packing! xx

[chocolateworshipper]

I think as long as he is clear about the amount of debt he will have, and the rules about paying it back, then you are doing the right thing in supporting him. I hope it all works out for him (and for you).

[Hillarious]

It's been said many times before, you shouldn't look at the student loan as a debt. Martin Lewis is quite vociferous on that front.

Sheffield's a great place to be a student. It sounds like he's very keen to go, and with that positive attitude he'll have a brilliant time.

[Alwa]

Hope he's settling in well OP

[Giraffe2206]

Thanks Alwa but he didn't go to Uni in the end. After many, tense, fraught long days with talks about pro's and con's, cost/benefit etc etc he decided it was too much and too scary to do - he missed the opening freshers weekend, the course induction and first day of lessons.

[Alwa]

Fair enough, if he changes his mind he can always go next year, although it's not for everyone anyway.