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Feeling very anxious about my Year 1 University DD

(10 Posts)
datingdiva1 Thu 02-Nov-17 13:03:19

My DD started Uni in September. She is painfully shy and not a party animal at all. She finds it hard to make friends. All seemed to be well and she has bonded with one girl in her flat. However, this girl and many others in her flat of 8 all seem to go home at the weekend and DD says the Uni is empty over the weekends.

Now there is already talk of what will happen for year 2 when they are expected to rent outside of the halls flats. Her one friend is talking about going back home (she lives within half an hour) and commuting for year 2. I am getting bad vibes for my DD.

Anyone else had this sort of problem? All of my local friends seem to have kids who are making groups of friends in their respective Unis , but mine doesn't appear to be.

Feeling very anxious.

CatAfterCat Thu 02-Nov-17 16:40:20

Maybe try posting on Higher Education. Lots of people on there with DC at uni.
Unis do seem to vary about whether the students go home a lot at weekends. My DC have only made the odd trip home but I know a friend's DC at Liverpool who reckons lots go home at weekends.
Has she made any friends outside the flat? On her course perhaps? or looked at any sports clubs or societies? The first term is a bit over whelming with all the new people. Is she actually unhappy do you think or are you maybe worrying unnecessarily?

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 16:42:49

I'm she in Wales?

hmcAsWas Thu 02-Nov-17 16:46:32

This is exactly the kind of scenario I fear for my painfully shy dd, when the time comes. Sorry, not helpful. I hope you get some good advice from others

Also, still early days. Perhaps your dd may make more friends on her degree course as time passes. They surely can’t all be going home at weekends?

Caulk Thu 02-Nov-17 16:54:09

I have two friends that experienced this with their daughters.

1. Left at Christmas, returned home and worked for the rest of the year. Went to a different university this autumn and is happier. She is more confident after working and found living somewhere else helpful.

2. Decided she didn’t want to be shy anymore and joined a lot of societies. She found it hard until she made friends there and ended up spending lots of time with them instead. She really had to force herself to do it but it did get easier for her.

LoniceraJaponica Mon 06-Nov-17 20:44:33

"This is exactly the kind of scenario I fear for my painfully shy dd, when the time comes"

Same here. One of her friends is at Lincoln and finds that most students go home at weekends, so he does too.

Catlovingmama Mon 06-Nov-17 20:46:05

Worth trying a Student society eg music or whatever she is into?

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday Mon 06-Nov-17 20:49:34

I’d sugg st she joins some clubs too.

Also could she go to Student Setvices and explain how she’s feeling? They may have lots of ideas on what she can do or ways to help her.

datingdiva1 Thu 09-Nov-17 13:31:01

Thanks everyone. It's got worse as the one girl she had slightly bonded with has decided to move out next week. I am at a complete loss. I will suggest she goes to student services.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday Thu 09-Nov-17 18:57:45

Yes, they are usually should be helpful. They don’t want students to be feeling lonely. Tell your dd to be honest with them.

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