How can I help my difficult 19-year old son find a rewarding career?

[vegabook]

Hello -

My son is 19, and has not had the easiest of childhoods because I separated from his mom about 8 years ago and he didn't take it well. His mom now has a new partner, with a child, so that's made him feel more estranged from her and her new life. His sister lives with his mom miles away in Dorking, while I live with him. However I work all day.

He's not very academic but is a very quiet and good boy, but he doesn't want to leave the house, and he doesn't seem to have any motivation to go out and study. All he wants to do is play computer games all day. He's withdrawn into himself and seems quite unwilling to socialize. He's a good looking boy but has always been a bit shy.

I'd like to know if anybody has experience with career counselling or psychological counselling which can help him get out of this rut and help him find more enthusiasm for his future. Are there good counselling services or clinics? I don't want him to feel like he is abnormal or anything but I do think he needs help, and also I need to have a concrete assessment of what he might be good at so that he can take that forward and make decisions about his future.

Concerned single father.

[FauxFox]

If he likes gaming what about a part time job in Game or somewhere luke that to start him off? Somewhere people will identify with him and his skills/interests and he can start earning and building up some self esteem? Good luck!

[MaidenMotherCrone]

At 19 I wouldn't consider him a boy but a man. Where does he get his money from? I find that money (and the need for it) is the thing that makes people take responsibility for themselves and get out there and do something productive. I've got 3 adult sons so do know a bit about it. It's something he had to do for himself, he's an adult now.

[lljkk]

You may have to force him. But make it an achievable goal.
Like either he can volunteer or he can get a paid job for 16 hours a week. His choice. He needs to learn that he can do things competently outside the home.

[vegabook]

yes indeed he is a (young) man, but I still need to try to help him to "launch" into life. I agree that starting to earn money will help him to mature a lot.

[Callamia]

Was he at a college recently? Did he leave with some qualifications that might help? There are career coaches that you can pay to see, and that might be interesting for him to do.

I guess he's not thinking about university, but what about an apprenticeship? He might also do some voluntary work while you're able and willing to support him. Voluntary work in an area that interests him might help him develop some confidence and show him what he's good at. Mind are pretty good at things like this; supporting volunteers as well as trying to stretch their skillset.

[thesandwich]

Volunteering at something like insomnia at the nec Birmingham or visiting it? A careers advisor may be able to help- visiting somewhere like the skills show at the nec might give him some ideas.
Volunteering would be a good idea . Have a look at the do it website for ideas. Is he into programming/ coding? Lots of opportunities.

[VisitorFromAlphaStation]

There's a piece on the NHS website about children with autistic spectrum disorders are at risk for problematic video game use, or so-called “video game addiction”. According to redbrick website: "In 2009, a Swedish Youth Care Foundation described the World of Warcraft game as ‘more addictive than crack cocaine’ due to a particular teenager who suffered convulsions after playing the game for 24 hours straight." The NHS says on their website that "You could see your GP for advice or contact an organisation that specialises in helping people with addictions."