Can anyone help - DD and Uni?

[mymatemarmite]

DD has always been adamant that she didn't want to go to Uni when she finishes 6th form. At the moment she is just finishing the 1st year of 6th form at a very good Grammar School. I think this may be her problem or part of it. The School are very focussed at getting as many girls as possible to Uni and think she has kind of switched off as she is not a top grade student (more a middle one).

We have sat down this evening and she is in tears as she has no idea what she wants to do when she finishes next July. I have encouraged her to look at the local Uni (actually there are 2) and we will go and visit in October.

Is it possible to do a degree without a specific subject? I have no idea how these things work. I have never been to Uni, ExDH does have a degree and a masters degree but he did it through the Open University.

At present her A levels are Maths, Psychology, Business and Sociology.
The poor girl is just drifting and if we don't do something now she will just drift for the next year and nothing will be done.

I am not a pushy parent, I want her to be happy and if she decides that Uni is not for her then so be it. I do have 2 Older DC and neither of them have gone to Uni, they chose the apprenticeship route. But at the same time, as DD does not know what she want's to do, just want her to get a good grounding of education whilst she is still young rather that what her Dad did and wait until he was early 30's before studying.

Thanks in advance

[CotswoldStrife]

Why will she drift for the next year? If she doesn't want to go to Uni then she doesn't need to make any decisions this year, and she has her current A levels to focus on. Even if she did change her mind after her A levels she could take a gap year.

[FreakinDeacon]

DD has just finished A levels and isn't going to Uni, she is going to a Film school.

Lots of her friends who are unsure what they want to do are staying on at college to do BTEC courses. It gives them the chance to think about what they might want to do. Is that an option for your DD?

A friends DS is going to Uni this year at 21 because he just didn't feel ready to commit to one course until now.

[Somerville]

How's she doing with the maths A level - does she have a predicted grade yet?

[mymatemarmite]

I'm not forcing her to go to Uni. I think she is more worried that all her friends know what they want to do and have already started looking at Unis etc..... I want what's right for her although I was the one that mentioned about getting a degree so she had a base to work from. I am more than happy for her to do an apprentice or go straight to work from 6th form.

[mymatemarmite]

She is finding Maths hard, predicted a D.

[RedastheRose]

Get her to apply just to keep her options open. My DD was advised to pick a degree in a subject she enjoyed as she didn't know what she wanted to do and 3 years is a long time to spend studying a subject you don't really like. If she doesn't want to go then perhaps she can have a think about what sort of job she might enjoy. There are lots of careers that you can do without a degree that you can do 'on the job' training or by day release. She doesn't need to be stressing out about it yet though.

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

i think this is part of what a gap year is for op.let her decide.

[AlexandraEiffel]

To answer your question, no you can't do a degree without a specific subject. You have to apply for a particular course in a particular subject.

There are some that are a bit more umbrella like but they're really aimed at mature students accessing university in a non traditional way.

[Marmaladeorange]

A gap year might help her figure out future plans. I too went to a very competitive grammar school and it's so easy to get pushed into uni as soon as finishing sixth form just because it's the 'right' thing to do. Much better would be to have a bit of downtime away from education - get a job/travel/visit friends at uni to see what it's like. Don't pressure her too much, that sort of environment is already crippling. Everything will sort itself out in the long run, and supportive parents will only ever make it an easier process.

[StorminaBcup]

There is always the option of applying to go a university through clearing if she decides that she'd like to go. That way she can just concentrate on her studies for now without the extra pressure. Although to be honest if she has no idea what she would like to study, a gap year is an excellent idea. I wish I'd have at that advice as a 17 yr old instead of retraining 20 years later!

[SerfTerf]

The closest thing to a non-specific degree is a "liberal arts" degree, which are quite new to the UK.

However, if she doesn't want to go to university, that's probably the right choice for her. If she changes her mind later, she can still go (and won't have wasted her one chance at funding on a half-hearted attempt).

Where in the country are you? Big city? Region? Does she have hobbies or interests that might inspire a career?

[mymatemarmite]

I agree Red, but talking with her tonight she has no idea what she wants to do, I literally went through everything (all good humoured and no ranting)!! That's why i wondered if she could do a non specific degree. I just felt so sorry for her tonight, she came home from her part time job this evening (which she hates) and everything was just too much and the conversation started from that.

I guess at least she knows what she doesn't want to do!

[EduCated]

Would a gap year suit her? It doesn't necessarily need to be jetting off round the world, just some time to work and/or volunteer. She could then apply from a position of knowing her grades. Planning in advance that she'll do that might stop it feeling less drifty and unstructured.

I felt similar at that point, and a gap year largely spent working in a shop was what convinced me that actually I really did want to go to uni, and gave me some time to breathe and refocus.

[SerfTerf]

Has she looked through apprenticeship listings for inspiration?

There's also the "Not going to uni" website.

[Crumbs1]

Has she had any career advice? If school can't put her in touch with a careers advisor then there are online psychometric tests that help you consider options that might suit.
Our son decided against university after A levels and joined military. He was torn between army and Royal Navy but settled on the guards. Plenty of exciting opportunities in all forces for both sexes. Good pay and not if you're into sport your support could not be better. You get a degree too as an officer. He certainly doesn't regret not going to university.

[Somerville]

Does her school do any career guidance? Perhaps you can also look into some separately
from school.
Also, is she doing 4 A levels? Better 3 with more time to work towards higher grades, in most instances.

[mymatemarmite]

She told me she has looked at apprenticeships but still can't decide. She is very creative and has a good eye for fashion, colour and trend.. She is the one I go to when decorating as she has a canny knack of putting the right things together. She is also very good with make up and hair - but again it doesn't interest her to do it on other people.

Will have a look on the "not going to uni"

Thanks for all your suggestions. I won't be upset if she doesn't go to Uni, as I said my other 2DC didn't and both did okay!

[mymatemarmite]

Careers advice at School recommended that she did some with people like counselling or a pastoral carer in a School. She has told me she would not have the patience to do that sort of thing.

At DD's school they are encouraged to do the 4 A levels.

[Somerville]

Maybe encourage her to look at careers that are both creative and caring. Art therapy? That kind of thing.
If my DC was being predicted a D I'd be insisting the school let them drop down to 3 A levels, I have to say. Even the super selective and top indys around here only do 3, unless further maths or the student massively keen. 4 is a lot of work alongside a part-time job as well - she might be too tired/burned out to plan much in those circumstances.

[mymatemarmite]

Part time job is 8 hrs a week (Friday and Saturday evening) . I will talk to her about the Maths, such a shame as she got A* at GCSE and it was always her favourite subject. Not at the moment though! I wasn't aware she could drop a subject half way through as the other local Grammar Sch only do 3 A levels to begin with. Some of DD's friends are doing 5!

[HeddaGarbled]

She needs to do some research about potential careers. She may be able to get some careers advice at school but, as you rightly say, aspirational schools push them to uni and don't really explore other options.

Would you pay for some independent careers advice? Or do one of those online questionnaires which ask loads of questions and then come up with a list of possible careers.

Teenage girls do sometimes "catastrophise" a bit. This may have been just a low moment rather than a full-on existential crisis.

The creative stuff you mention doesn't match her A level choices. Was she pushed into choosing those by the school or does she actually enjoy any of them? Which is her favourite? It sounds like the fashion/beauty/decorating stuff is just a side interest rather than something she wants to pursue as a career.

Now then, the part time job which she hates. Could she not just leave?

[Somerville]

Oh yes they can definitely drop an A level half way through. In fact that's what my DD's school does - they're all recommended to start with 4. At the end of y12 they then drop the one they're getting the lowest predicted grade with or enjoying least - unless they're doing well across the board. (Excepting if they do maths and FM.)

Is she not enjoying the maths and not working, or generally finding it hard? I'd encourage her to consider everything from dropping it to getting a tutor.

[mymatemarmite]

She could just leave her part time job, but she is saving to go on an extra curricular holiday with the School next year which is very expensive and for her to go on it she has to raise a third of the cost. So we sorted out a payment plan with her Dad and me that we all pay £10 each a week till she goes. Any money left over will go towards her spending money plus passport.

[mrwalkensir]

look at Khanacademy online etc to help with maths. Get as good grades as she can, but let her take a year or two if she wants to go to uni (or take another A level. Uni nowadays is too expensive to go into if you're not motivated. Lots of good business degrees out there. Foundation arts year?

[Whileweareonthesubject]

It must be awful for her, to feel she has to make a choice when she doesn't know what she wants. I'd agree with a gap year - especially if she can find work that she enjoys. She'd have time to find out what she enjoys, what she's good at, as well as what she doesn't want to do. Why did she choose those particular a levels? Did she have a career inind but has now changed? Or were they her favourite subjects? Her strongest subjects? What is the purpose of the trip next year? Anything there that she could pursue career wise?