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Leaving uni

(15 Posts)
Howlongtilldinner Mon 24-Apr-17 18:50:34

My DS wants to leave at the end of his first year, he hates his course and is adamant he wants to leave, doesn't want to change courses either.

I didn't encourage university as he is not the studious type, but it was his choice so there wasn't much I could say. Just to say though, I supported his decision once he'd made it. I think the whole uni 'experience ' has been based on fun, and very little work has been done, exactly what I was fearful of.

My question is, will the university help him with careers advice, or is there a careers service we can contact for help/information?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Mon 24-Apr-17 21:12:26

The reality is that there's not a lot of careers advice for those who drop out in their first year.

Does he have any idea of what he'd like to do?

I'd suggest that he gets a job in a callcentre, office or a shop somewhere local until he's figured out his next move.

Howlongtilldinner Mon 24-Apr-17 22:21:11

troll that's what I was afraid of.

He has no idea what he wants to do, and has a very unrealistic and immature approach to his future. I'm exasperated!

I guess it'll be trawling through jobs and apprenticeships. He has no drive whatsoever, it's like pulling teeth.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Mon 24-Apr-17 22:29:50

If I'm really honest I was the same at his age and went back to Uni at 30 and it was MUCH better/easier/better grades than I could have hoped for as a teen.

You need to put your foot down first of all - doing nothing is not an option. Is he living at home?

He needs to get a stopgap job to bring in some money. Otherwise he isn't going to have any money to go out with his pals, for clothes, parties or whatnot. If he's wanting to apply for 'career' jobs - he needs to have a CV and at the moment he's a dropout. So he needs to work on that.

If he takes part in any sports (football for example) does he want to go into coaching? He could volunteer with local kids clubs and that builds his cv?

It won't take long until he's bored, wants more money, wants to move out and that will force his hand to be more responsible.

SingaSong12 Mon 24-Apr-17 22:38:56

There is some info on this website. It does suggest contacting the careers service at university- the worst that can happen is they are unhelpful. There are other tips about references and informing tutors and the bank if he has a student bank account.

SingaSong12 Mon 24-Apr-17 22:39:25

Sorry posted too soon

Howlongtilldinner Tue 25-Apr-17 06:39:52

troll he's in halls at the moment. I have told him repeatedly he has two options..FE or a FT job.

He has no hobbies or interests. I've been telling him to volunteer so he can put something on his CV, everything I suggest falls on deaf ears, "things are different now" I'm constantly told.

It's a battleground here at the moment, and I'm struggling to understand how 'different' it is today compared to when I left school. His work ethic is dire.

Immature and irresponsible. I do take into account his age, but it's so frustrating watching the apathy, and spoon feeding him all the time.

Like you say, he'll get bored and want to go out/buy clothes/holidays. We live in quite an affluent area (we aren't and I'm a single parent) and his friends are bolstered financially by parents.

single thanks for the link, I'll take a look.

thesandwich Tue 25-Apr-17 08:11:14

I'm so sorry- that must be so tough for you. Would approaching his old school/ college be possible for advice? Is there someone he might respect( i.e. Not you because mums never are up to date😬😬) nearer his age he might listen to? Or princes trust?
He will get through this but it's really tough for you both. Good luck and lots of (brew)

Mary21 Thu 27-Apr-17 15:39:48

It might be worth him booking an appointment with his uni counsellors to discuss his options. You might find them under the banner of student services

Howlongtilldinner Sat 29-Apr-17 21:43:25

Thanks for all your replies. He's unmotivated, doesn't ask the right questions, distracted..basically like pulling teeth. I'm at my wits endsad

thesandwich Sun 30-Apr-17 08:36:40

How long that is really hard. Think about your ground rules for when he comes home - what you will and won't accept including help in the house etc. Protect yourself. Did he just drift into uni? support him but give him space to work it out himself. Good luck. Many people take a while to find their way- but look after yourself through that.

GeorgeTheHamster Tue 16-May-17 16:54:17

I'm sure he will improve once reality bites. When he gets home, give him NO money. If you give him anything at all it will take away his drive to get off his arse. He can start with a paper round for beer money, but he won't if you give him money.

Howlongtilldinner Tue 16-May-17 19:30:19

So he's still there just waiting to leave, has collected his last loan instalment!

I have told him he must have a job OR at the very least a start date before he comes home. According to him he has applied for hmmm ten jobs. Nowhere near enough, and not had any responses as yet.

I will not give him a penny, this is the last straw. sad

EduCated Tue 16-May-17 19:33:00

Unfortunately even if his university careers service is happy to help him, they may not be much use as their knowledge and experience will almost exclusively be on graduate recruitment.

Sadly there's not much targeted at those who drop out.

thesandwich Tue 16-May-17 21:21:13

This sounds so hard. Is princes trust worth looking at? Look after yourselfgin

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