D not taking A2 exams - seems depressed

[Colette123]

Can anyone offer me advice? My daughter's GCSEs are all As and A stars but this A2 she has found college difficult. She has taken one of her A2 exams but the next she did not go in for and this morning has missed a second. She only shrugs, says 'What's the point?' Was spending hours crying and listening to music and now is shopping, playing on her phone or watching tv. She had a university offer which was attainable. She is very anxious about her appearance and has missed stuff she wanted to do because she couldn't find anything to wear or her hair wasn't right. I don't know what to do. She isn't interested in the future so the possibility of a resit is no help. She has been to the doctor about her tiredness and throat infections. Should I try to get help from the doctor for possible depression or should I just be supportive and listen to what she has to say. I am a single parent and feel quite alone with this.

[Stopmakingsense]

Hello I would get her to the GP. It sounds like depression to me. We have had a similar situation - lack of motivation is a symptom. My DD also suffers from anxiety and this can lead to depression. We have only just persuaded her to go to the GP and she is now on Cipralex - early days but she is already seeming a bit better. I wish I had got her to go earlier - but it is only in hindsight that I realised how bad things had got (and it took someone else to point it out). We are looking at re-takes next year, I think, as now sitting A2 exams, and absolutely no revision done (despite really wanting to go to uni). All the best.

[Colette123]

Thank you. We have been to the doctor but it is very much up to her to decide whether she wants that kind of help. She doesn't like doctors and I am not sure when it is right to step in.

[PurpleDaisies]

Does your daughter think she's depressed? She does sound like she needs a little help. What did the GP suggest? This is much more common than you'd think amongst teens.

You might be better reposting on the mental health or general health board for a bit more traffic.

[goingmadinthecountry]

I'd second going to the doctor. A2s are a very different thing from GCSEs but her health and well-being is so much more important to get sorted - supportively of course.

DD2 didn't have a good Y13 - migraine and a couple of issues with teachers. The best thing she ever did was re-take it somewhere different. Lots of her friends have taken an extra year or two before university and ended up being much happier. It doesn't all have to happen now. Get her happier now, exams will come when she's ready. Honestly.

[texasm0m]

I second going to the GP but it is very difficult to get mental health help on the NHS. In my area, there are qualified counselors and therapists that can offer CBT (and other methods depending on what you're looking for) and they cost about the same as you'd pay for a tutor.

I got my son a therapist when I was worried about him when he was about 13 years old. He went once a week after school for about 10 weeks. My son was very reluctant to go at first but found it really helpful with the issues he was having at the time. I did a lot of research and found someone that had an approach that I was happy with. It was solution-focused CBT. I thought it was great. We don't have much money but I am really glad I did it.

Obviously, therapists like this can't offer anti-depressants. It might be better to go through the NHS to get the whole package but it can be soul destroying trying to get help through that system. I've been trying to get help for a friend and it's been very difficult. I've tried to encourage him to go private but the costs put him off. Might be worth looking in to.

I hope she feels better soon.

[eveteen]

My dd first started cutting and being depressed at 14. She is now 18 and in 6th form. Years of CAMHS never made a dint in her anxiety and depression but recently sought she support from our GP and she requested mediation. She has responded so well to it and only this evening we were discussing how she is becoming her true self again. Different people respond differently and talking to her gp is a good start.

[chocolateworshipper]

does the school / college offer counselling? My DD in Y12 is having free counselling for her MH problems through the college.