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How do you phrase a cancelllation fee, I think my sentance is too long

(10 Posts)
KatyMac Sun 14-Sep-08 19:44:42

It makes no sense it is too long and it doesn't read well - can someone write it in English for me please?

"I also enclose an estimate for 6 sessions, please be aware that once the sessions have started, if they were cancelled for any reason there would be a payment due for the remaining insurance costs at a rate of £25 per cancelled session (eg if cancelled after 3 sessions, the cancellation fee would be £75.00)."

KatyMac Sun 14-Sep-08 20:09:53

Arr go on - I know it's boring and badly written

Maybe I should put it in Pedants Corner

Hassled Sun 14-Sep-08 20:15:28

I also enclose an estimate for 6 sessions. Please be aware that once you have confirmed acceptance of these sessions there will be a cancellation fee of £25 per session, to cover the remaining insurance costs. For example, if cancelled after 3 sessions, the cancellation fee would be £75.00.

Not shortened, just rephrased. I hope that's what you meant.

Sailing ahoy - and will catch up then

KatyMac Sun 14-Sep-08 20:27:40

I was out on my dad's boat today - it was lovely - we went Potter to Hickling, then to Horsea then back to Hickling

I ended up so relaxed - I really needed relaxation grin

Your version is so much better than mine. thanks

lou031205 Sun 14-Sep-08 20:36:39

I also enclose an estimate for 6 sessions. Please be aware that a charge of £25 per unattended session will apply in the event of cancellation after acceptance.

KatyMac Sun 14-Sep-08 20:51:13

Thanks Lou, I sent it (it was late already sad)

Hassled - what do you think about me applying for this...gulp

Hassled Sun 14-Sep-08 21:07:29

Blimey - it sounds like a fantastic job, and you have all the Early Years stuff sorted. Definately apply - even if you don't get it, City College might remember you for something else that comes up (I have a couple of friends who teach there and it does seem to work like that - not what you know but who you know).

So you'll make some contacts, and I think if you make your covering letter sound really enthusiastic about always wanting the opportunity to share your skills and experience etc etc you're in with a shot. They are asking a lot in their job description and I can't imagine there are many people in the area who could tick every box (unless, of course, they already have someone in mind and the advert is just going through the formalities, IYSWIM). You have nothing to lose but your pride - give it a shot!

I used to paper-sift CVs back in the days I had a proper job, and have proof-read - if you want me to have a look at anything just email it over.

KatyMac Sun 14-Sep-08 21:16:25

Thanks - I may take you up on that - I m working on my personal statementy thing atm

Hassled Sun 14-Sep-08 21:18:42

I do mean it - would be a pleasure.

KatyMac Sun 14-Sep-08 21:27:46

can't get past sentence 1 blush

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