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Anyone work with their husband?

(10 Posts)
bacon Fri 14-Sep-12 16:55:19

Cos he's driving me mad! Its everything, the house, the children, food, time etc its all my domain.

I feel like his employee not his housekeeper wife!

Shop talk, shop talk, shop talk!!!

TalkinPeace2 Fri 14-Sep-12 19:47:19

He and I both work from home but he does his thing and I do mine.
We compare notes and act as each other's PA but are each others company secretaries and minority shareholders.

mummywithnosleep Fri 14-Sep-12 19:49:41

Yep, been together 8 years, work together, live together, work on site, no time apart. in 8 years 10 rows! :-)

Do you want some tips?

Feel free to ask anything and I will do my best to answer.

ssssh Sat 15-Sep-12 10:09:29

Yes: he started a business over a year ago and I help with the admin and do the showroom three days a week. The main problems are along the lines of "Did you send such and such out?" "No, I thought you were doing it" . And he's incredibly stressed most of the time because despite working really hard we still don't have enough money to pay off loans etc. I manage to avoid rows because I know he's the type that blows steam out of his ears then calms down, so I just have to wait for suitable calm windows to give him bad news such as VAT bills...

bacon Sat 15-Sep-12 14:32:20

My OH is very stressed with have a lot going on we also live on the farm so there is no getting away from it even though we dont farm anymore. We run another business and have a few other things going on.

I feel because he has never worked as an employee he lacks 'bite thy tongue' while I have always been employed I know how it works.

With employees, machinery, HMRC, minstry, livery yard, tenants etc its just endless stress.

With working and living on the premices its never shut the door at 5pm Friday, its constant. I get fed up of his coming in 7pm on a Saturday. Then its shop talk, ebay, crappy short evenings and rubbish weekends.

We have been drifting apart recently and I have been sticking up for myself more as he relies on my for everything. I am getting more assertive but he calls me bitchy. Fed up with the children just being my domain, wish he would take them out.

I also struggle with time as I have all the domestics to complete and this means I end up doing loads in the evening and weekend.

Wish he would talk to me as a wife and have more respect. Not sure if I should be posting this in the 'relationship' tab?

MoelFammau Thu 20-Sep-12 23:22:04

I do. I find it intensely annoying. Our conversations are just work related. I feel its ruining our relationship.

Negative old me. Just hit a rough patch, I guess!

SleepBeckons Sun 23-Sep-12 21:23:38

I have my own limited company, plus a family business run on a 50-50 basis with my husband.

It is difficult - no two ways about it. I don't accept any input from him whatsoever into my own company, no matter how 'well-meaning' hmm
What works for us is having very clear demarcations for accountability in the joint business. So, I'm responsible for all back-end processes - customer satisfaction, refunds etc etc. If he wants to give input, I say 'thanks for that, but this is my area, and I will make the decision'. And I do.

bacon Tue 02-Oct-12 17:55:13

MoelFammau - yes I know, I feel as though our relationship has hit a 'dull' point. We are surrounded by work. There can be no rules as you have to earn all the time.

We are so knackered too, I think the stress zaps us. Getting out does happen but just together is ok but we end up talking work as there isnt a buzz anymore.

Running a business like ours is much tougher than I thought.

CakeBump Tue 02-Oct-12 18:09:24

Yes meeeee!!

I feel your pain. We have a restaurant and DH runs it and is the chef, I help out.

So basically, I tidy and wash up after the customers and after DH ALL DAY. It can often sometimes drive me bonkers.

It also means that our whole lives revolve around the business, 24/7.

It's not easy. I think the division of labour can get very tricky, and I find the boundaries between home and work are really blurred - for example if I've been washing pots for him all day, walking into the bedroom and finding his socks on the floor can send me postal as it feels like more of the same.

I also have a better business head than DH, and he has also never really been properly "employed" before. I think he can sometimes be naive as to how business works, but due to external circumstances I have to trust that he knows what he's doing....

YY on the stress and tiredness. Because DH is running things, he is exhausted and stressed and not very easy to live with about 99% of the time BUT I get stressed and tired too!! It can feel like a "who is the most fed up" competition sometimes.

So, I'm afraid I don't know what the solution is. We see a relationship counsellor every couple of weeks and she is useful for clearing the air and helping us see a way forward sometimes....

CakeBump Tue 02-Oct-12 18:14:37

Oh the hours too!!! Sorry, posted straight off the cuff and then went back to read properly....

We are in the restaurant from 11:30am, latest. Weekdays we are both there until anything between 9:30 and midnight. Weekends I help out as and when, so even if I think I've got a "day off" I often end up doing a few hours. DH works at least a 12 hour day, 6 days a week.

Quality time is very, very rare. We started walking the dog together in the morning, but DH often has to go shopping or to the bank, then the walk goes out of the window. If we get an early evening we try to do something nice together, but often we just fall into bed, exhausted....

The stress.... constant, just constant. Can't pay bills, problem employees, the tiredness, the VAT man.......

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