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So, are three kids too much if you run your own business?

(22 Posts)
grrd Sat 03-Sep-11 17:29:44

Are three kids too much if you run your own business?
Do women with 3 kids have to become SAHMs by default?

We would have childcare in place for all of them, even for a couple of hours per day for the newborn... so I can continue to run my business?
(creative industry freelancer: needs tons of self motivation especially in my sector as there is almost no work at the moment, but I digress).

Am I deluded to think I can be pregnant and be there for my family and also manage 3 kids WHILE continuing working on my career?

Tell me how many kids you have and how you do it please!!

peggyblackett Sat 03-Sep-11 17:41:11

Oh cripes - I hope it's not a problem as I freelance and I am pg with dc3 (and I have every intention of returning to work after this one).

Will watch with interest (and quiet panic grin).

grrd Sat 03-Sep-11 17:43:07

Congrats on your pregnancy!

grrd Sat 03-Sep-11 17:43:48

Glad to hear that other women combine 3 kids and freelancing as well.
It has to be possible..

peggyblackett Sat 03-Sep-11 17:54:50

Thank you smile

It has to be possible.

I think having a supportive DP/ DH makes a massive difference. My DH and I split everything - housework, parenting, time out - exactly down the middle. I don't think I could even contemplate it if I was married to someone where the relationship dynamics were very different.

I also think having the right childcare helps. We have a nanny, which means I don't have to do nursery drop offs etc. <<disclaimer: DD1 has profound SN, and we need that sort of childcare if I work - no other options>>.

So are you at the stage of contemplating dc3 grrd?

grrd Sat 03-Sep-11 18:02:40

I think I have done the contemplating...
I want another one... even though circumstances are not ideal (2 kids already, small flat, school fees, my career will take a small hit, DH would be happy to leave it at two kids.. so he is definitely not pushing for a third...)

am really hoping to have another one. basically: I am ready :-)

how far along are you? was it an easy decision? what about your DH, was he really keen? Oh, and what means "profound SN"?

coccyx Sat 03-Sep-11 18:04:32

Something would have to give, but then you are putting them in a nursery

grrd Sat 03-Sep-11 18:24:59

coccyx - yes, that is a good way to put it: Something would have to give

the problem is that I have already cut out lots of stuff since I had kids: seeing friends, gym, generally wasting time..

I wonder what else would have to give? But then wouldn't I just become more efficient?

Mumtobejan12 Sun 04-Sep-11 17:30:27

I run a small creative business - and panicking about having my first in jan - how did you do it? I'm thinkig a nanny (part time) from about 1 month old??

grrd Sun 04-Sep-11 18:06:15

i think being really passionate about my job motivates me despite being really tired sometimes (like, now..). i started working when DC2 was one month old (while baby was asleep).

Maybe you could take a bit more time off than one month, since having a first baby is such a new thing and you want to allow yourself more time to adjust..

DC1 is in nursery and we have a nanny for DC2.. Getting a lot of help and being really into your business will help you move forward. Luckily it is easy to be passionate about creative jobs, i just wish the pay were better..

Good luck!

Novascotia33 Mon 05-Sep-11 00:08:08

Well I only have two children (18mnths and 3yrs), but I run my own business from home and would consider a 3rd.

Basically are you asking the choice between having 3 kids and working for someone else or working for yourself. Or, just having 3 kids and and working for yourself versus having 3 kids and working for yourself? I would imagine that 2-3 isn't that big a transition, I'd think the most huge transition, is going from 0 to 1 as far as babies/kids are concerned. Once you've got a couple you've already got no life anyway ;-) diminished expectations, etc.

I have childminder/nanny (what's the actual difference?) 9-2 3 days a week, then I work weekend mornings, with help of husband, and work evenings too, but not every evening.

If you're in a creative industry I think it's harder not to do it than to do it, that's what it's like for me. The balance is a juggle for sure, but I'd loose my mind if I didn't satisfy my creativity/business.

I'll preface this with saying I only have 2 kids though, and I just cannot quite decide about 3. I'm one of 3, so 2 seems like a bit of a lame effort, but then again, I'm enjoying the fact that I've for the first time in 3 years, got no bottles to wash and, hardly any broken nights, and the thought of going back to square one with a newborn....

I'm watching with interest.

Mumtobejan12 Mon 05-Sep-11 07:35:58

Thanks grrd. I really can't take more Ghana month off without popping into the office for a few hours each day - as I can't afford to loose any clients etc!

It's a exciting but also very scary time!!

Conkertree Mon 05-Sep-11 08:25:43

Hi. I run my own business and am 38 weeks pregnant with dc3, so as with the others, I hope it can be done grin.

Ds1 is 4 and is in pre-school nursery for 3 hours a day, and ds2 is 2, but not in any nursery. DH has reasonably flexible hours, and pil tend to come down and play with the children once a week, so I have two days a week which are my definite work days, then its mostly either working in the evenings, or early mornings (while the dc watch a little Cbeebies).

Things are fairly seasonal with my business, so have been much busier in the summer. Not planned this way, but with the baby being due in September, I am quite confident that I can take a bit of time off now, without losing many customers.

And you get your 10 days back at work, so am planning to concentrate work into those 10 days when required.

I guess it comes down to just how many hours you need to put into the business, but if you can manage the time you need, it can all work. I have definitely become more organised at housework/cooking planning etc during this pregnancy - not deliberately, but maybe subconsciously in preparation.

bigbadbarry Mon 05-Sep-11 08:39:30

I've got three and work as a freelance editor - though I only work a few hours a week so it is not at all the same as trying to manage full time. I've done this since having just one, though - three is no worse than two! Going from 0-1 children is world-changing; going from 1-2 takes some adjusting; 2-3? Hardly any smile

escape Mon 05-Sep-11 12:22:02

I have 3 kids smile
I think you can have as many kids as you like and keep your business if you are motivated enough...

BeckyBendyLegs Mon 05-Sep-11 14:48:43

I have three smile

It is possible. I didn't start back working until DS3 was six months but I started off working during naps (DS2 was at nursery every am and DS1 at school). Now DS3 is 22 months and I still manage 2+ hours a day, he goes to a childminder in the am, not every day, but he has a long nap after lunch, he's a good sleeper. It Can Be Done but it is hard work.

porcupine11 Mon 05-Sep-11 14:58:13

I work for myself, from home, and just found out preg with DC3! I hope it's completely possible to keep going when I have three, as I did after two. Working for myself makes it easier to juggle working hours without having to make that mammoth children vs office decision. Currently I work 3-4 days per week in hours, but only have childcare for 2 days per week. I lean on my DH a lot as deadlines approach, so I agree with what was said above about supportive partners. And the other critical trait is high mess tolerance!! I never procrastinate or think about the house while working, so chores have to wait until 9 pm at night, or when someone is due to visit...

However, DC3 will be born before DC1 even starts school, so I may be eating my words in 9 months...

bacon Mon 05-Sep-11 17:24:04

I find it incredably hard I'm afraid with 2.5 & 5 year old. Nothing gets done in the house and the place is a mess. I'm a partner in business to my husband and because I'm home I have to do everything so balancing general housework, shopping and cooking is tough (aka SAHM). But then I'm in farming and construction so its a busy home with lots of people coming in and out. Really because of being at home I am expected to multi task and always question whether actually going out to work would be easier.

Also depends on your partner, some are very hands on while mine isnt and works long hours including weekends so means I am doing lots of invoicing, quotes, risk assessments late on sunday evening. I cant rely on hubby to do much childcare as we cant guarantee he'll be around and when he is, he's out planning and prep for the next day.

ANswering the phone when they are here is near impossible now as I can never hear a thing! running for the phone while tripping over every toy and a little one climbing all over you.

I find the school run hateful, time you go - its time to collect so the day is short plus after school activities. SO actually I never really do a full day. Then its all the half terms, teacher training etc.

It will get easier but finding my home very very vocal with either them screaming or fighting or me losing my rag.

We can just about afford childcare for DS2 but 2 days a week is the most we can afford plus the odd wrap around for DS1 (£300pm).

My life isnt typical so its hard to compare really. As for social life - NONE!!!

Saffra Mon 05-Sep-11 17:57:19

And there I was wondering if it was possible to run own business with baby...! I suppose much of it depends on the business that you're in and how time-intensive it is (as well as how supportive your partner is, etc.), but much kudos to those that are able to create the right balance for them. Hopefully it is 'balance', rather than frantic frenzied lifestyle!

chickydoo Mon 05-Sep-11 18:15:24

I have 3 kids and am a self employed yoga instructor, also run yoga holidays, weekends, workshops, also sell a range of organic yoga clothes.
I guess it's a case of just getting on with it. With my DC3 I only had 8 weeks full maternity leave. I gave birth on the same day I taught my last class. Dc3 went to Nursery at 4 months old. I taught evening classes only until the 4 month point, then was back to my 14 classes a week.
Wish I could say it was easy, would love to just teach 2-3 classes a week for pure enjoyment and love of yoga, but I need an income I have 3 kids. Just as well I can bend over backwards (literally) and keep reasonably calm. All 3 kids at different schools, DH works late, I do 100% of housework, cooking, Diy and gardening. Am even on duty at weekends as DH plays golf, I'm usually watching DS1 play rugby. Saturday is my only day I don't work, but at least my job is fun and full of amazing people, many of whom have become very good friends.

LivingEdwardMunchPainting Tue 06-Sep-11 20:45:16

With good childcare every day then yes it's possible. I have 3 and run my own business from home. I've basically set the amount of hours I need to work in order to earn enough money, and have childcare to cover all of those hours. I guess it depends on the job you do, but for me, tryinig to work with kids in the house is not fair on them, not fair on me, and not fair on my business. If you're thinking about no. 3 then make sure all those childcare costs are built into your business plan at least for the next 3 years.

midnightexpress Tue 06-Sep-11 20:50:06

I have friends with 3 DC and their own businesses. One of them's in a creative industry - she managed to write a book whilst on maternity leave (though her DH also works from home, in the same field, and often with her on projects - which no doubt helps). The other good thing about what she does is that she was often able to take the DC along with her when travelling for work.

Another who started a business when her dc3 was a baby. But it is a nursery, which may have been a wise move. grin

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