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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

I need some advice from someone with experience of fostering teen girls

(12 Posts)
2shoes Thu 17-Jul-08 10:50:44

anyone?

Psychomum5 Thu 17-Jul-08 10:51:56

I can't advise, but hunt down flame as her mum used to foster teen girls.

she may be able to help

Flamesparrow Thu 17-Jul-08 10:53:42

ello wassup?

Flamesparrow Thu 17-Jul-08 11:36:54

not related to anything, but didn't know m shadows was in this

laidbackinengland Thu 17-Jul-08 11:41:20

Have a 15 year old boy if that helps ?

laidbackinengland Thu 17-Jul-08 11:41:56

I mean, I have fostered a 15 year old boy !

BettySpaghetti Thu 17-Jul-08 11:51:05

I've worked with young people who are in/have been in foster care and residential care if thats any good?

2shoes Thu 17-Jul-08 13:02:58

sorry was doing house work.
ds's gf is going to fostered soon.
now I have just got to know gf's mum. she isn't easy to get to know and has been very controlling about ds seeing gf.
(long story but nothing to do with ds)

so when gf goes to live with this family.
can I please have some tips.
ds will still want to see gf and I have no idea how this all works,
no sex drugs or acohol is involved in their relationship, just a rather sweet teen romance.

HonoriaGlossop Thu 17-Jul-08 13:40:44

I've been a SW for fostered children in the past. If this were one of my children I would hope that the foster carer would promote the girl being able to see her friends, including her boyfriend. Obviously as you say it's a teen romance so it can't cause issues in her placement in any way; I mean I have had girls climbing out of bedroom windows at night and absconding and getting pregnant etc etc so basically no-one should have anything to say about this relationship at all, so long as it's conducted within 'normal' limits just like in any home really....if you keep to your coming in time and let people know where you're going etc there's generally no problem.

Your ds' girlfriend will need to come to an understanding with the carers about when she goes out and sees him etc. The girl's mother may want to lay down the law but as far as I am aware it is a matter for the carers/sw/girl with INPUT from the mum; she won't be the last word.

BettySpaghetti Thu 17-Jul-08 14:26:34

I agree with what Honoria said.

Also I would add that it might help to introduce your self to the F/Cs, make sure they have your phone no. etc. if contact continues between the girl and your DS.

Lauriefairycake Thu 17-Jul-08 14:34:23

Echo what betty said. I am a foster carer for a ten year old and I would initially be very wary of any relationship she was in - nothing to do with you and your ds but to do with how she had been brought up and the reasons she came into care.

My ten year old came to me with a ton of make-up, playboy stuff, high heels, hair straighteners and some very sexually precocious behaviour (as had suffered abuse)so if she came as a teen and had this behaviour been much much more then I, in turn, would have been much more wary.

It's a fab idea to introduce yourself to their carers - be really upfront in private with them about it not being a sexual relationship as they will probably just have come from their 'safe caring' course and will be worried about all sorts of stuff.

Good luck smile and how great you are to think of this.

She will need the continuity of her boyfriend to cope with the transition probably

2shoes Thu 17-Jul-08 14:46:29

thanks. I did talk to my dd' sw and she didn'ts ee why they wouldn't be able to stop them seeing each other. so fingers crossed it works out the gf deserves to feel safe.
I will take the advice given and also pass it on to ds.

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