Fostering with my own baby, and which agency to use??

[Chocolateychocolate]

Just as the title says, really. We were hoping to foster instead of me having a baby, but my hormones (and nagging body clock took hold) and now we have a 6mth baby. Now he's here, I still long to help another child, but our home only has 3 bedrooms, and I have a teenager at uni who may need this room in her holidays.

Do you think we would be able to foster in around 6 months? I am giving up my full time job anyway to be with baby.

Plus, it's so confusing when I google; do I use an agency or LA? Which is best? They seem to have different recruitment processes, rules and payments. Help!

[Apolloanddaphne]

You can foster with your own children but I expect your baby is too young at the moment. Foster children can be very demanding both physically and emotionally.

I would spend time researching your LA and the other agencies in your area. Call them and they will send out info and maybe come and visit. You will then get an idea of timescales and what will be involved so you can decide whether it is for you and who you felt most comfortable with.

[stucknoue]

I'm in the process of getting approved and the minimum age for birth children was 8 for the agency and 5 for the council. The agency pay much better but the kids have higher needs levels

[Raffy2019]

Thank you. So you think most agencies will have a minimum age for my own child then? I'm trawling through the agencies but most don't mention it...TIA

[ohhahhh789]

Generally they will want your child to be around three years older and generally yes they wouldn't want them to be any younger than 5 but I have know them take people with younger children. It will take more matching and they would need to give further consideration of any potential issues during the assessment. I'd say whilst you have a young child definitley steer clear of agencies as they tend to place the harder to place children such as sibling groups and older children which wouldn't be suitable for you. I think you are best off for looking at fostering aged 2 and under only.

[Raffy2019]

Thanks Oohahh, that's helping me already.

[Apolloanddaphne]

Also foster children can't share with your own children so you probably need to wait until your uni age child is no longer living at home and needing a room.

[TinselTimes]

I have a friend who is fostering a ten year old, and her birth child is 3. So I guess different agencies have different rules, you might just need to start talking to the ones in your area. I’d be surprised if any would let you foster with a one year old though.

[Raffy2019]

It's not looking great, is it? Thanks for replies.

[Littlebirdie123]

If you're thinking of fostering then Building the Bonds of Attachment by Dan Hughes is a must read.

[Cassimin]

I’m with an agency.
They will not let you foster without a spare bedroom. Babies can share with you but there must be a room for them to move into should they remain with you longer than originally planned.
Also babies often have a high level of contact with families, sometimes daily. You could be travelling to and from contact, even supervising so this is not feasible with a baby of your own.
Our agency will not let you foster with a birth child under 2.
I waited until my youngest was 13 and I’m glad I did.
The majority of children coming into care require a high level of support and your own children’s needs often come second to yours.
I would enjoy your time with your new baby, there’s plenty of time in the future to enter fostering, it can be very stressful.

[Raffy2019]

Thanks cassimin. Bedroom not really a problem; daughter not around in holidays, she's said! I might try contacting my LA today just to see what they say. I do understand that my own baby will take up a lot of my attention though!

[Grandadwasthatyou]

Totally agree with cassimin. There is no way on earth that I could have fostered whilst my own dc were young. My foster placements took over my life with meetings, appointments, contact visits, medicals etc and of course the extra attention and work constantly needed in order to support looked after children.
My own dc would not have had a look in and it wouldn't have been fair. I'm not trying to be pessimistic just realistic.

[Raffy2019]

Thanks grandad. Thanks all. Ive decided to leave it for a while!