SGO for grandchild?

[Papergirl1968]

Wondered if anyone had any experience of a SGO in a case like ours?
Adopted dd, 17, is pregnant, due in April. Her behaviour has been pretty awful in the past, with running off, stealing, assaulting me and other people, getting drunk etc.
She's been much better since she's become pregnant, has returned home to live, and we're getting on much better, although she still has a nasty temper.
Both she and her unborn baby are on child protection plans. The father isn't on the scene.
I think she could be a good parent and I hope the baby could be the making of her. But I wouldn't like to guarantee she won't ever get bored of the baby, resent it for curtailing her freedom, lose her temper with it, or one day run off with another lad.
The baby's social worker has asked me to consider a SGO to enable me to share parental responsibility with dd, and to have the power to stop her taking the baby with her if she decides to start dragging it around her lowlife mates at night, or wants to move out of the area with it.
We are desperate to avoid the baby being take into care so we'd certainly consider it. But after doing some research, it seems SGOs are primarily for children who can't live with their birth parents, and in our case, dd would be living here too, at least for the foreseeable future.
Would a SGO be appropriate or is there something else we should be considering?

[doris9034]

I don't have any experience of your circumstances, but we foster and there's an organisation called fostertalk who are really helpful around all the facts and implications etc www.fostertalk.org

[mummyyessy]

Sorry no advice, but you sound amazing. Good luck

[Sowhatifisaycunt]

SGOs are an option in your circumstances and they can work well to safeguard the baby and make sure she remains in her family. Unless your DD makes some rapid changes to her lifestyle she is unlikely to be able to keep her baby without significant support.

[Sowhatifisaycunt]

A mother and baby placement may be an option if you DDs lawyer can convince the court she has a chance of meeting all of her baby’s needs with support. SGO could be a 2nd option.

[Soontobe60]

I know of a couple of cases where the grandparents have been the SGO and the mother has lived in the family home. Unfortunately in both cases the mums disappeared, leaving their babies.

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

I've seen my service use an SGO in these circs. Ultimately it worked for the child. The mother was a bit wayward but the child was never disrupted she stayed right there in the family home. Sounds like the best plan.

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Go and get legal advice though

[E20mom]

If finances are tight you should be aware that any financial support you are entitled to can very a lot depending on whether you foster or get a SGO.

[Papergirl1968]

Wow, thanks everyone.
Ss want to assess dd in a mother and baby unit, both before and after the birth, but she's very reluctant to go, for reasons I can understand, such as a fear of being by herself at night, and a wish to be with family.
Finances are very tight at the moment so that would be a factor.
I should add that dd2, who is14, has issues too and requires a lot of input. I'm not sure how the baby is going to affect the family dynamic, but none of us want to lose her to the system.
I'll have a look at the fostertalk website and get some legal advice.
Thanks all x

[Sowhatifisaycunt]

Definitely get legal advice. It’s not ideal for a baby to be fostered long term as it is stigmatising. Different LAs have different policies for SGO so it’s worth finding out what kind of support plan you’d get. Good luck to you all x

[fasparent]

THINK THIS !!! is perhaps the way too proceed , will give you and your daughter 3rd party support during her pregnancy and 3 years beyond will be allocated a nurse partnership/advocate . can work together .
//www.fnp.nhs.org have too contact them.

[fasparent]

Sorry may have got the link wrong //www.fnp.nhs.uk. Have used the service for FC with very good out come. saves ss involvment

[Papergirl1968]

We have one, thanks, fasparent, and she's been really good, standing up for dd at the child protection meeting when other professionals tried to say she shown little attachment to the baby.
18 years is a huge commitment - I'm 50 now - and what if dd settles down and gets her own place one day? Would it mean she couldn't have the child to live with her? I'm worried about the effect on dd, who really wants to be a good mum to the baby.
I think we need something that will give me some rights over the baby, for example being able to stop dd taking off with it, but is less permanent than a SGO.
I wonder if applying to become the child's foster carer is a possibility? But does that mean I'd have to do all the training, a lot of which is probably similar to what I've done as an adopter?

[fasparent]

SGO is the probable best rout for kinship carer will give you same support as Adoptive parent accessing after adoption services is now the same for SGO's . There is lots of information and a help line for potential SGO's , What too ask for finance/ support all you must ask for at court stage . If you don't ask you don't get !!. This org is very good have a good guidance. Will be able too access training with LA's, again best too ask better from you. Think its two courses a year SGO is presently in consultation too better the system. see //www.frg.org for details

[fasparent]

Sorry done it again //www.frg.org.uk

[Sowhatifisaycunt]

If/when your DD has proven herself to be a good enough parent she can apply to the court to have the SGO discharged. It isn’t like adoptin where all parental rights are severed and there’s no going back when the adoption order is met.

[user1493413286]

It sounds like a good option for your unborn grandchild and daughter; obviously get legal advice for my understanding of an SGO is that in the future you could both return to court to discharge it. There’s no reason why you couldn’t have the SGO but your daughter be primary carer in your home then a transition to her own home and then the SGO is discharged.
The courts will also sometimes make a child arrangement order to grandparents for a child to live with them but without the implications of PR being shared.
If the social worker is talking to you about an SGO make sure the local authority pay for you to have legal advice

[LM37]

We have had SGO for our niece since Aug 2018 but was with us since Jan 2018 .(she's now 18 months ) we have now been approached about baby 2 that could be born as early as end of Next month . SW is hoping to get a child arrangement order when he's born , untill Sw can work towards a SGO for him . Child arrangement order I'm not clued up on at all yet . Sw told us it would mean he's not a looked after child (saves them money I think ) although I'm not sure what that would mean got birth parents as in contact as They get 6 visits a yr since SGO (when thry bother ) do all your research first X

[Crazymumof6]

I've been their looked after child pregnant at 16 had my daughter at 17. Living in mum and baby unit. It was really had proving to social services that not all looked after children are the same. I came out the other end with my daughter luckily not being under social services. I am also in a similar situation I have 3 of my children. And my 2 nieces and nephew now living with me. Me and my partner are their family foster carers. We got financial support and emotional support. They help with contact arrangements for the parents and any issues are sorted out through social workers. They asked me for a sgo we refused as their words were they completely back off and they are no longer involved. The children may need councilling and other help and we would have to fund that help ourselves. My nan was also in your situation 17years ago, she is now 74 and my 17year old sister lives with her and my grandad. She moved in when she was 4months old it was that or adoption and my nan could never let happen. They kept pushing for an sgo and she refused she has been my sister family foster carer for 17years. She gets help as financially they might of struggled living on a pension, my sister got extra support at school because the sw were still involved. She gets help towards uni, driving lessons, furniture costs when she moves out and they have also emotionally helped my nan as its not an easy thing to do to take on a baby. In my opinion ask about being a family foster carer to your grandchild your dd will have a much better chance at keeping the baby she will still have sw involved to help and support you both. And how does she feel about you having more parental responsibility of her baby she would technically have to get your permission to go to the doctors to get hair cuts to sign school forms. To removed the sgo she would have to pay to take you to court to get it removed and the judge could always say no. Things could get hard and strained at home if that was to happen. Defo talk to someone from the legal team about it. Good luck x