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Antisocial, Aggressive, and Potentially Violent Foster Parent. What Should I Do?(7 Posts)
I'm not sure where to start, but here's the gist of it.
10 months ago we ended up with two foster parents moving in next door to us on new build housing estate. They weren't exactly chatty or friendly in their first weeks, and our real introduction was due to antisocial music blaring at 11 PM from his garage, which the male foster parent swiftly turned into a boxing gym.
After a brief chat, he apologised and agreed it wouldn't happen again. However, this was short lived and the antisocial music started again within a couple of months, though it was at a slightly reduced level.
We've also had to endure constant dog barking from their two dogs, gate banging, car door slamming and loud music being played from his car on the driveway, which borders our house.
He was even using a vibrating wacker plate at 7 AM just several weeks ago in his garden.
It appears that he doesn't like being told he (and his animals) are causing a nuisance, and is very arrogant about the whole thing.
Yesterday, at 10:30 AM, he's decided to jump in his car on his driveway and started blaring music for a good 30 minutes, until I finally lost my cool and started banging the fence and told him to shut up as I was trying to sleep.
He literally went nuts and told me to get out the front and he would "sort me and my family out". It was literally quite scary, as I truly believe he would have hit me if I had.
Anyway, my partner phoned the police due to the threat of violence, who arrived shortly afterwards. They did the normal thing and took our concerns on board, and had a word with him, though we don't know the outcome.
They permanently foster a young boy roughly 11 or 12 years old, and occasionally have other children stay at the house as well.
She is in her mid to late 20s, while he's in his early 30s. She's actually a okay woman, if a little strange, though I have heard her shout at the foster child several times, including the use of vile language, but I'll just put that down to stress.
He appears to live on a different planet, and is nothing more than a part-time foster parent at best. He is more occupied in flexing his muscles either in his garage, or down the gym than spending time with his family.
He is also very short tempered with her, and I often hear him shout blunt words at her.
Me and my partner also have suspicions that he may be a possible drug user, more specifically steroid abuse. Though, of course we can prove that.
Me and my family now feel threatened to have such an unstable and potentially violent man living next door to us, and of course one who has one-on-one contact with vulnerable foster children.
I doubt if there will be any action from the police because it's simply a case of our word against his, but I'm wondering should I take it further contact social services and report my concerns?
Any advice would be welcome, thanks.
I was wondering how you know that they foster this boy?
There is different types of fostering, could he be a relative?
If he is in LA foster care there should be social workers visiting frequently.
Have they not noticed anything?
They've told us (or she has) that they foster this boy and they have him until he's 18 years old. The boy is not related to them. There's also other children who stay a couple of nights in the house, usually two or three times a month.
He's never there when social workers visit, and if he was, I'm sure he could easily turn on the sweet charm.
Again this afternoon, we've been subjected to more antisocial behaviour, and he's also been verbally abusive to his girlfriend/wife as well.
Phone the council and ask to speak to a duty worker.
As above you could phone the council looked after children's team.
The child may not be in the care of your local council though so they may not know him.
You should ensure that you log any complaints you make, name of person you spoke to etc and make follow up call maybe a week later to see where they are upto.
I am a foster carer and complaints are dealt with seriously.
Children can be removed and questions asked later.
Are you the same poster who thought the family had dangerous dogs?
If so this should also be reported.
Also forgot to say...
He should be there when social workers visit, at least some times,as they will be fostering as a family.
Every year carers need to go to panel to be reassessed and they and the child will need to be interviewed.
Ring Children's Services now. You've already rung the Police about them.
Surprised it's not been flagged up already.
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