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8 weeks till panel(16 Posts)
Hi all! I'm a newbie to mumsnet. I've been searching the posts to see if people have similar feelings to me at this stage. The 'unknown' is all becoming a bit daunting and maybe I am looking too far ahead but I'd love to hear of peoples thoughts/feelings once they were approved at panel.
I'm mainly anxious about panel and how that will go. I feel confident we should be approved just a bit daunting.
Secondly how fostering will fit in with and affect my family. We have a 10 year old daughter and have requested 0-2 year olds short term.I have spoken to my SW about these thoughts but wuld appreciate some 'real life' experience from other carers.
I have, via a mutual friend, managed to arrange t meet up with another carer tmrw for a chat.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this and possibly answer x
Hi firstly in answer to panel don't worry as most people who go to panel will be approved. The process is very expensive for la and ifa and generally if they think you wouldn't be approved they would have told you by now.
As for how fostering will affect your life that is hard to say you may get lucky and get a baby and one without withdrawal will be very similar to your own although you will have the extras of reports contact and social worker health visitor and other health care professionals in your life a lot more than with your own.
As for an older child removed even at a year and half (babies and toddlers) the child will have suffered from trauma being removed from its primary carer what ever the circumstances and this can at times seem as though you have a few children roles into one, there will be at times that you feel as though the foster child will monopolise your time but you would also get this with a younger birth child but can be more extreme with children whom have been traumatised possible neglected have attatchment issues a range of issues.
Fostering is the best thing I have ever done but there is days when I wonder what I have done and there's are days when I go to bed exhausted.
Fostering can be very challenging and very rewarding but be under no illusion this can be hard and not may children arrive with no trauma at all as children can also have trauma whilst bm is pregnant.
Hope this doesn't sound negative as I have so many amazing memories and experiences so much through fostering my youngest son 6 when we started but it has changed my life.
It is a privilege to be a foster carer and help young children but it can be very exhausting.
My best piece of device would be to keep in contact with other foster carers as a support network no one truly u sweat and until the become a foster carer x
Thanks fos6mo3. I think because the application is so long (which obvs it has to be) it feels like the longest job interview in the world ever! All this 'waiting' around seems to send my mind into overdrive at visualising how it will be once fc arrives.
Don't get me wrong it's also a very exciting time entering a new chapter for us as a family. I do feel we can offer a loving, safe and secure home to a LO whilst they need us and feel prepared for the inevitable hard work but reality will be somewhat different from my speculation.
We were approved at panel last week and it was intimidating in the way a job interview is, even if you're positive you're the right person for the job! The panel were really friendly and our SW was a great support too. They are on your side and not there to catch you out or ask you things that haven't cropped up during the process.
Now we've had the approval even more 'what/why/how/if ...' questions keep popping into our heads but equally know there's no average child, foster or not, so we'll just have to take each child and situation as they arrive and accept, adapt, support, encourage for them, our own kids and ourselves. Learning curves ahead!
Soozzy yeah that's what I envisage it being/feeling like a job interview. What questions did they ask you?
Great news on you getting through panel! What age range are you?
It's all about the unknown ATM isn't it. I'm sure once we all get going with placements and reality hits we will be ok and work through it. It's just the anticipation!
They asked why we want to foster - inc what our children think; a couple of minor health questions - already highlighted on our medicals; how my job would be able to adapt to the needs of fostering; how we'd feel/what we'd do if a child didn't want to engage with us as a family. Everything was in our form F/been discussed in the process, they just wanted a few clarifications.
We've been approved for a 4-13yo (x2 if same sex siblings).
Remember the credibility of your SSW takes a dent if you don't pass panel so they are not going to put you forward unless they know you are ready to be approved and they have all their paperwork in order. As I was told a few days before my panel interview; just remember, they need you more than you need them.
Thanks keephimjolene. TBH I'm not too worried about panel, just nervous in a job interview kinda way but it's very true what you write and is reassuring x
I’m at panel in 17 days, I’m so excited although nervous. One thing I’m wondering though is when to hand my notice in if we are successful. Would we get a placement straightaway? I’d like to keep my job on until we get a placement if possible, I only work part time anyway .
We went to (LA) panel just over 2 weeks ago, and then had to wait for the approval letter and contracts, which came a week later, and we returned straight away. Just over one week on from that we haven't had a call from, or know who is, our supervising SW. Neither have we had any calls regarding placement, but were told by the panel chair not to take anyone until we have been assigned a SSW.
I would at least wait until you get your letter and contracts, to check you're happy with it before resigning. You don't have to take a placement if you're circumstances won't work at the time. Problem is you equally don't know when you may get a suitable placement.
I think the LA keep on the same social worker who took you through assessment at least through your first placement anyway, that’s what ours’s Manager told us
Ours is from a different team from the one in our assessment and just found out they will start in 2 weeks!
In the meantime, now have an interim SSW. Have had our first call and may have someone from this afternoon - it's all got very real!
Congratulations Ameliarose! How's it going Soozzy? Did you get a placement?
3 weeks today now for panel for us. Got the decorator here today getting the bedroom ready x
(Have changed my profile name)
Yes, got a placement the next day and it was a rapid learning curve, an emotional roller coaster to say the least! It was a first, emergency, placement and some issues were much more extreme than expected so was moved to much more experienced carers after 10 days. Now going to offer respite only for next few months to build up some skills! Hasn't put us off, just upset that we didn't have the skills to support appropriately/effectively. Signed up to more FB pages and downloaded a few more books on my kindle.
I've been a Foster Carer for the last 6 years , and remember so well the fear of the unknown ! getting used to the jargon and waiting. We were approved in July and didn't get a placement until Feb of the next year , so anyone working don't give in your notice until you've got a placement. If i was to give any advise it would be attend as much training as possible, not just for the training but for getting to know other FC, nobody else will understand what you are going through outside of this job. We've looked after 18 children in that time , some you love , some you don't , same goes for your SSW there are good ones and not so good one's. Have confidence in yourself and ask lots of question especially when you've getting a referral , always ask for the FULL details eg school ( are they actually at school or nursery) any health or behavioural issue's , if moving from another carer why ????
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