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Kinship fostering - not a relative

(15 Posts)
ElizaBenson Mon 16-Jan-17 21:20:45

I am considering kinship fostering one of my Guides, shes currently in a childrens home nearly 14 and would like to be fostered by me (she bought this up btw I haven't suggested it but I am interested in doing it). My husband is okay with the idea but:

We live in the midlands currently but would be moving to wales within the next 2 years

We are lieky to have a baby of our own within that time as well

We both work full time

Does anyone know if we would be able to go ahead and do this. I know with normal fostering we wouldnt be able within considering our own child, but I have been in this girls life for about 3 years now and ita not the first time shes asked me to foster her, I really think we could give her some stability

PotteringAlong Mon 16-Jan-17 21:23:12

You need to contact her social worker and have a proper conversation.

MollyHuaCha Mon 16-Jan-17 21:23:15

Wow, what an amazing person you are flowers

ImperialBlether Mon 16-Jan-17 21:25:08

Are you related to her, OP?

lifetothefull Mon 16-Jan-17 21:37:27

Don't assume anything about what's allowed or not. There seems to be very different rules. Sometimes rules change according to the child's history. Like pottering said, have a proper conversation with SW.
It may be better to try as a regular foster carer as support is often better. I know a foster carer who has her own baby and fosters teens, so its not the rule everywhere.

AgentProvocateur Mon 16-Jan-17 21:39:56

If you're not related, it's not kinship. I'm not telling you this to be pedantic, but so that you're not googling and getting wrong information

ElizaBenson Mon 16-Jan-17 21:42:33

No I'm not related to her, but I understand kinship fostering is possible if you are a part of their life in other ways, so in this instance a guide leader. I know I need to speak to her social worker but I just wondered if it would be a flat out no if we were expecting a baby to come along, or wanting to move etc. I dont want to waste the time of someone who is probably very busy

I wouldnt say amazing Molly shes a good kid bless her. My sister on the other hand is going to be a surrogate for us because I cant carry a baby, thats pretty amazing (and also why i'm concerned we would get turned down for fostering)

ElizaBenson Mon 16-Jan-17 21:45:29

Agent from what I read a non relative can kinship foster if they have a relationship with the child?

AgentProvocateur Mon 16-Jan-17 22:07:22

Apologies. I've only ever come across it when it's a family member. In Scotland, until recently, kinship carers didn't get the same support of financial allowances as other foster carers, although I believe it's different now.

ElizaBenson Mon 16-Jan-17 22:11:58

Well I think what I'm understanding is right, they mentioned people like godparents, teachers and childminders. I'm not fussed about the financial side of it if we were to get less as long as one of us wouldnt be expected to give up work in order to do it

So how do you go about finding out who a childs social worker is? Would it likely still be dosert where she went into care or would she have a new one in the west midlands where she is now?

justsayyoufeelthewayaaahfeel Mon 16-Jan-17 22:29:11

It's a lovely thought but I think it's important to acknowledge that although you've known her for a few years, it's been in a relatively superficial context, for a couple of hours at a time. It's unlikely that either of you have a good sense of what it would be like to live together. I'm not saying that to minimise the care you have for her; I'm sure you have a good relationship - but to point out that a young woman who can manage well in a Guides setting may well have very deep, complex needs in other areas of her life that you've not had a chance to see yet.

You can talk to whomever is her contact person on her Guiding paperwork (presumably a staff member from the YPU?) to find out who her SW is.

And yes, if you're planning to have an all-consuming, exhausting newborn baby then the SW will definitely want to know how you'll continue to meet what are likely to be the complex and challenging needs of a vulnerable young adult!

ElizaBenson Mon 16-Jan-17 23:21:44

I understand what you are saying, just to explain a few things:

Fostering is something we were considering in a few years anyway so I have done a lot of reading and research around more "normal" fostering, this has just been prompted by a want to foster a specific child but please dont think I'm considering it whilst being totally unaware of the many issues we could face, although in an ideal world a small baby would not be added to the mix

Yes shes a nice kid, no shes not been perfectly behaved there have been some difficult times with her and I am one of the people she confides in about her life so I am aware she has major anger issues and has physically assaulted more than one member of staff. Without going into too much detail we have had the opportunity to spend more time together/become closer than the average guide and guide leader might, but I'm not naive I realise this would be nothing in comparison to living with her day in day out.

To be honest I feel slightly patronised by the lovely thought comment. Its not a lovely thought its a terrifying, serious, has to be thoroughly considered, massively life changing thought and its not something I would do lightly. But as I said there is no point even thinking about it if we wouldnt be considered suitable in the first place due to the baby situation.

lifetothefull Tue 17-Jan-17 10:11:28

It sounds like you are absolutely serious and therefore are not wasting anybody's time to enquire, even if it doesn't go ahead for whatever reason. Just don't tell her about it until you're a lot further down the line.

PotteringAlong Tue 17-Jan-17 12:59:32

Is her social worker not her emergency contact number for guides?

ElizaBenson Tue 17-Jan-17 22:59:52

Thank you I will

Pottering no we use the house number for the home she lives t and whichever carer is on duty is the one we deal with

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