Thinking of fostering, would this stop me?

[ALemonyPea]

DH and I have been thinking of being foster carers for a few years now, and we are about to get an extra bedroom in our house, which would mean we have the space.

We have three DC, eldest 13 and youngest is 8, one who has autism. He goes to respite once a week during the school holidays so I can spend a day with his siblings doing stuff he wouldn't do. Would this mean that we would be declined as foster carers?

[Flower20166]

No I wouldn't think so! If anything it will be more of a lylas, as you have experience of autism and how to differ your parenting style to suit the child's needs. Give your LA (or agency) a ring :)

[Flower20166]

More of a plus*

[Cassimin]

I have a fc with autism so if you already had experience would see this as a plus.
The only problem I can see is that of you had a fc placed with you who had any additional needs you probably wouldn't be able to place them in respite to spend time with your bc.
Luckily my children were teens when our little one came so were able to understand why my time was so taken up with him.
In my case my own children have definetly lost our on a lot of things because of fc. Holidays and meals out etc are much more difficult for them.

[AmaDablam]

Not necessarily. It all depends on individual circumstances. If it's something you're seriously considering, do take the first step and ring your local authority or a local independent fostering agency for a chat. Good luck!

[ALemonyPea]

Thanks for answering.

My DC are getting older, and behaviour getting more easy to handle.

We are thinking of going to the next open evening to see what is what. Probably wouldn't be until next year when we start the process once everything is done renovation wise anyway.

[bexollie]

I would like to offer some advice ,personally I think you should approach your LA rather than an agency as they have more troubled children which may put more pressure on. Not that a foster child wouldnt put extra pressure on but you need to think how the autistic child would cope with all the changes and also sharing you. I can see why you'd want to spend quality time with the children and have the autistic one in respite but a foster child may well bring problems just like the child in respite. I don't think social workers will judge you for putting the child in respite but you will have to give a account of why etc during assessment.

[greencybermummy]

It's not like just having an extra child around. They come with lots of baggage. You need to consider how your own children will cope with 'sharing' you, their possessions and home alongside the demands of a child who may have unpredictable behaviour alongside your own child with asc. Have a good honest chat with your LA and maybe speak to other local foster carers about support offered and their experiences. It's rewarding but incredibly tough at times when you have your own children in the mix too. Good luck with your decision making.

[JustHereForThePooStories]

My sister has a child with autism, a child without additional needs, and also fosters. While she doesn't use respite care, I don't think her DC having autism was ever an issue. If anything, I think it helped her application as she was able to demonstrate experience with special needs.

[bexollie]

They might wonder why you would take another child on when you are trying to make quality time with your other children by having g the autistic one in respite. I do agree though parents can benefit from a break from an autistuc child but it just depends on how they see it and opinions and circumstances.