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Not sure about fostering

(7 Posts)
Lfrieghter89 Mon 09-Jan-17 14:02:48

My partner and i have just had our 1st visit from the fostering team. We both were really excited until we were told we couldnt so much as even give them a hug or anything if they were upset etc...would just like advice from other foster carers please

Aftertheraincomesthesun Mon 09-Jan-17 14:27:57

You can give them a hug if they are upset.

Floggingmolly Mon 09-Jan-17 14:29:40

I'm not convinced you understood properly

Cassimin Tue 10-Jan-17 08:51:03

Of course you can give hugs. How is a child supposed to learn how to act if you you don't give them the emotional experiences.
She probably meant go at the child's place. If they are old enough to answer ask if they would like a hug.
Don't just go in there gushing all over them, they may feel uncomfortable if you do. After all you are a stranger to them.
SW give you all sorts of advice, lots of them differing. You really just need to play it by ear.

EnglishIrishRose Tue 10-Jan-17 12:15:42

Cassimin is right, all children need healthy, safe touch in order to develop healthy relationships - but it must be led by the child, with an awareness of any possible abuse history and respecting their right to consent or not consent to physical touch.

We've never been told not to give hugs, but we have been told that physical contact should have common sense boundaries, which would ideally be set out in writing. A lot of it depends on the child's temperament / history, the SW you have at the time and your agency's particular policies. If the agency's written policy is 'no hugs at all' I'd be very surprised.

millmz Fri 13-Jan-17 13:59:11

You defiantly can hug them as long as they are ok with this. I also think you have perhaps mis-heard. You just have to be careful with kids who may have been abused or things like hug them before they go to bed not in bed.

lifetothefull Mon 16-Jan-17 15:14:30

I think it is important to remember that not all children want hugs. Let them come to you. Or offer a hug and be prepared to be turned down. I'd also be surprised if it was a 'no hugs at all' policy.

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