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What to call me at school

(9 Posts)
thehedge Fri 09-Sep-16 23:25:54

Hi,
So my long term foster child has just started a new school. She normally calls me by my first name which the children have noticed. They want to know who I am. She doesn't want to say I'm her mum and she doesn't want them to know she's fostered. I don't really want to start the new school with a string of lies. Any suggestions/ experience of this.
Thank you.

BigginsforPope Fri 09-Sep-16 23:36:01

Is it possible to be "just a friend"? Or failing that a childminder?

I can understand why you don't want to tell lies and create more problems though.

SpidersFromMars Sat 10-Sep-16 00:04:09

How about a compromise. "This is Emma. She looks after me"? Could be childminders/nanny/or foster carer then.

user1473282350 Sat 10-Sep-16 00:07:07

"This is Emma, she is Emma".

I can remember when I first met someone who called their Mum and Dad by their first names - I asked why straight away (not realising how insolent I was being).

She could also say you're a house mate - do you know how long she will be with you for? Because you may have to have this conversation again when they ask her about Mum and Dad. Maybe you could prepare her for that now too whilst you are talking about it so she has a "game plan".

Piehunter Sat 10-Sep-16 00:10:34

Aunt? My parents foster and current child (13) has chosen to refer to them as mum and dad to feel as normal as possible amongst peers but that's been entirely her choice... Plenty of people call totally unrelated people aunt/uncles so wouldn't be an outright lie but needs less explanation possibly? I've always called my v close aunty by just her first name...Does she have any ideas of how she'd like to explain you?

Cassimin Sat 10-Sep-16 11:23:18

I have always been called by my first name.
Have they just started reception?
At this age I found the children weren't really bothered. He used to say I was looking after him as his mum wasn't well.

elfish Sat 10-Sep-16 12:35:13

How about a compromise. "This is Emma. She looks after me"? Could be childminders/nanny/or foster carer then.

we use this too, if another child asks where is your mum, they just point to me and say ''E`mama's over there'', same as staff in shops and the like

But my birth children also uses first names for us as they have grown up with foster children

FosterSword Sun 11-Sep-16 16:31:23

Aunt? You dont need to be related via blood or marriage to be commonly accepted as such.

Perhaps discuss it with your child and see what she thinks?

everythingis Fri 30-Sep-16 20:27:52

Lots of mine called their care mum it's just quicker than explaining. How old is your child? Have a chat with them about privacy and how just because kids ask questions they are not entitled to the facts unless your child wants to share. When your child has decided how they want to play it explain privately to the teacher so they can nip those conversations in the bud.
(Fsw - me)

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