It has been many years and Backinthe60's has made me think about returning to fostering and give a loving home to a fostered child. I felt so sad that he was not loved or felt wanted.
One of the reasons we left fostering was because our own children suffered so much. They never said anything at the time and always loved and included the fostered children as part of our family, a testament to how lovely they were and are. Our birth children have since told us how difficult it was for them as the fostered children needed so much of us. There were so many times we had to be at the fostered child's school or at appointments and our own children would come home to an empty house and a note saying "sorry, be back soon, needed at the school/dentist/gp/hospital/social services meeting/contact.", due to a sudden change of plans/appointment made by the SW. The social workers ensured the focus of the family was all around the fostered child (as it needed to be as the fostered children had no one else at the time) and we would be checked on weekly and monthly to ensure we took the fostered children out to buy them clothes, take them out to eat, shop, entertain them with their chosen hobbies and it was not expected that our own children would be included as this was the fostered children's time.
I absolutely loved it. I want to return to this loving life now that our own children are grown up and I have grandchildren.
I am hovering around and lurking as it would break my heart if my grandchildren said the same.
We are still young enough to foster, but fear things have not changed much or the impact on the foster carer's family is not recognised. It does not make it a "family" either if there is more focus on the fostered child, even when there is never any doubt that your own children have you forever and know they are unconditionally loved.
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Should we foster again?
7 replies
Whattheydonttellyou · 14/12/2015 10:19
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