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(8 Posts)
willowrose30 Tue 11-Aug-15 15:22:18

How do you do it.
Currently sat packing up the belongings for my first set of children in floods of tears. They have been with us over a year and are moving on to a fantastic adoptive family all together in 2 days. It's the best possible outcome and I'm so happy for them......but.
It's so heartbreaking. I know that this was what we signed up for and it's such a happy ending for them but the thought of saying goodbye is so hard.
This is definitely the hardest part of being a foster carer, will keep it together for the kids but I think I'm in for a roller coaster for a few days.
Glass of wine and mountains of chocolates and tissues at the ready! smile

wonderpants Tue 11-Aug-15 16:20:23

Oh darling it is horrendous and it hurts, but it is also a happy moment to celebrate the children 'going home' to their forever family and a very very proud moment for the foster family.

Look after yourself, allow yourself to grieve! Make sure you enjoy some free time, celebrate your family!

It hurts, but it gets easier, I promise xxx

stressstressystress Tue 11-Aug-15 18:09:18

Yes one of the worse bis of fostering.

I disagree with Wonderpants, every parting is hard, each child takes a little bit of your heart with them so for me at least the grieving doesn't get easier the more you do it.

However the next handover will be better as you will be more experienced at it.

I always find I prefer to be busy so I ask for a new placement as soon as possible and in the meantime chocolate and wine is the order of the day.

Good luck, think of the wonderful start you have given these children and their new family, a job very well done.

wonderpants Tue 11-Aug-15 18:21:27

Sorry, I didn't mean subsequent children were easier. I meant the initial pain does ease in time in my experience!

stressstressystress Tue 11-Aug-15 19:05:19

yes it does wonderpants, and having new children helps somewhat, and the knowledge you have helped make a brand new family!

Twopots Thu 13-Aug-15 11:55:08

We said goodbye to our first placement a few weeks ago, they went to court for a decision, I got a phone call at 1:30pm and her and all her belongings including cot, pram, toys, high chair etc were cleaned and gone by 2:30pm I was too stressed to be upset until they collected her then I broke my heart sad. We have 3 young birth children 5,6,7 years old so we have said we will have a holiday/break with them between each placement. We are going to France on sat back on 2nd of sept and getting a poss new born on the 6th! This work definitely keeps you on your toes!

Good luck with the move make sure you have your wine chilled ready!

willowrose30 Thu 13-Aug-15 13:14:59

Thanks everyone for your messages.
They left this morning.
It was hard but managed to hold it together (ish) until the car drove off.
They are just a massive part of your life for so long it's so difficult to let go.
I'm happy for them and am focusing on that, it's such a happy ending for them all and the adopters are wonderful.
Time for some sleep (a long forgotten luxury) and some downtime before dusting ourselves off and starting again.
Thanks again everyone.
Twopots that sounds like a gut wrenching ending, I'm glad your going to take some time out with your family.
Wonderpants and stressy thankyou for your kind words. smile

wonderpants Thu 13-Aug-15 14:03:52

Hugs hugs to you today! A very proud day for your family! Time to spoil yourselves. Look after yourselves xxx

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