Talk

Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Who has answered the new 'Questions about your sex life'

(11 Posts)
LaurieFairyCake Thu 18-Jun-15 11:00:42

In yearly reviews?

SS have decided to have a go at routing out paedophilia in foster care hmm in a most likely useless way since theyre not trained in questioning like police officers.

There's going to be questions about frequency of sex/toys/pornography NOT in relation to safeguarding (where you might expect them to ask whether you keep toys/porn locked away)

Anyone had this?

JacobMalloy02 Thu 18-Jun-15 16:40:32

This is ridiculous!! Tell them to mind their own business. You are an approved foster carer and considered fit to foster. How about asking them where in any Regulation or Standard that they can ask this and you have to answer. This does not highlight a safeguarding concern and should be challenged. If this fails with your LA/Agency, take some further advice from the Fostering Network.

ludovica Thu 18-Jun-15 17:22:54

What could frequency of sex possibly tell them? Seriously, what is the purpose of these questions? I am in general an anti-pornography person, but does possession of a rampant rabbit indicate that somebody is probably an abusive sexual deviant?

Can you give us a bit more information about this please? Like where I could read up on it.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 18-Jun-15 17:53:24

The questions about sex and safeguarding are easy to answer if the ask them (do you leave sex toys lying around? NO. Do you leave porn lying around. NO. Do you have sex loud enough that the foster children are aware?. NO)

Those make sense. They also ask in general reviews about how/what information ive given the Young person about sex/looked after their sexual health etc.

Again all fine.

But questions that are more intimate than that are going to get a more measured response and a value between two numbers for privacy. "How much sex do you have" - between 1 and 30 would be my answer. And not more info than that.

Kitsandkids Thu 18-Jun-15 22:34:28

I've got a yearly review coming up so I hope they don't ask anything about my sex life! Not least because my notification letter said the review is taking place in the summer holidays at my house. Therefore the children will be present!

Cassimin Thu 18-Jun-15 22:50:17

Been married 25 years. Got little one with adhd asd. What do you think my sex life is like!!!!!

notarehearsal Fri 19-Jun-15 10:52:05

I'd be appalled to be asked such intimate questions by my (male) fostering SW and would certainly refuse to answer. I'm also concerned that him asking me these questions could be seen as sexual harassment by some. I would not choose to discuss my sex life with anyone let alone a professional colleague. And is any foster carer actually going to say ' oh Yes, I have a wide variety of toys and porn kept in the dungeon and Yes, of course the LAC are able to access these at all times'?! My last review was a couple of months ago so will have to wait and see whether my LA are implementing these questions.

notarehearsal Fri 19-Jun-15 12:46:41

lauriefairycake can you share where you got this information from please? Ive spoken to a LA fostering SW this morning who has not heard of this. It's also not on BAAF site

LaurieFairyCake Fri 19-Jun-15 12:52:35

I got it directly from my SSW who has had training this week about CSE (child sexual exploitation)

She's not had the list of questions yet but she thinks it will include the questions above

notarehearsal Fri 19-Jun-15 17:36:00

Thank you Laurie, I'm due to go on similar training so hope it's raised there too

wonderpants Sat 20-Jun-15 10:29:45

Can't wait, this will amuse me greatly! Unlike my rather straight laced SSW and prudish husband!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now