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Would anyone mind telling me their expierences of fostering children age11 plus

(7 Posts)
Whathaveilost Thu 23-Apr-15 12:13:17

I would like to hear experiences good and bad of fostering children aged 11 plus for two reasons.

The first reason is that I have a job interview next Wednesday in fostering in a support role. Although I have worked with children and families it has always been families that are in crisis. I have also worked with young offenders so this is a new field to me. I fit in all the essential criteria and just short on a couple of the desirable qualities.

Co -incidentally I have been talking to DH about privately fostering a nephew (aged 16) who is in a lot of trouble at school and has been in trouble with the police. DH is against it as he thinks nephew is too troubled and will have a hugely negative impact on our family dynamics and won't be good for our sons. I think we are giving him a fresh start and can see how good life can be as a close family.

I am asking about problems and positive things from fostering children from 11 onwards.

Thanks in advance.

Whathaveilost Thu 23-Apr-15 23:20:46


wonderpants Fri 24-Apr-15 09:00:14

I'm sorry, my approval is for younger children. Good luck with your job interview though. I'm here for a little while if there is anything else about fostering you would like to know?

millmz Sat 25-Apr-15 13:16:36

Hi, I have fostered a few teenagers and have teenage children myself. I have found that rather than them having a negative impact on our family my children provide them with a positive role model to them. They will come with problems which i always try to discuss with them, why they do certain things or why they behave the way they do but because our own children are grounded and sensible i have found that eventually this has rubbed off on the kids we foster. the only advise i would give is don't say that you will take him and then give up on him, be absolutely sure that its what you want to do,. have patience as he wont change overnight. Talk to your own family as they will play a massive part in this, they must all be on board. Good luck

rattystump Sun 31-May-15 18:57:23

I have fostered a few teenagers. I've found them to be lovely at home. Things to consider - they already have a life which will carry on when they're with you, so probably family, but especially friends, will be a big influence. Are you ready to give up on sleeping through the night when there's a crisis? You'll also find there will be a lot of meetings. It's nice to see them when they've moved on and have them run up and give you a big hug!

LauraFC15 Wed 01-Jul-15 19:09:10

I'm a new foster carer. First placement started in autumn 14 and has kept going to present. Siblings Aged 14 and 12. No previous care history. I didn't expect as many problems with school - multiple fixed term exclusions, various alternative school placements, lots of calls from school when in crisis and the child needed collecting urgently. My 2 had led very sheltered lives so problems arise with self confidence and being in new situations. They have no street smarts, but are very mouthy so give the wrong impression.

However, they are both lovely kids, they have both started and are loving after school sports clubs. They've had their first ever holiday and we can see they've developed a lot. A lot is about telling them in clear simple words what is happening day to day. Things I would take for granted and things your own kids would just pick up- examples include "you feel Tired" or "we wear deodorant because otherwise we smell". You also have to be prepared to be sworn at a lot and not react.

FTGF Wed 08-Jul-15 14:38:06

We have been fostering for 2 years. We asked for up to 2 children between 0-10 and got 3 teenage siblings (girls).

Comments above about the schools are our experience too. Many calls, pickups, meetings. The school is very frustrating, don't follow the Ed Psych suggestions, record nothing and don't understand their own child's progression measurements as was proved by the Virtual School.

Get the Virtual School involved if you are having issues.

Fostering teenagers is hard work but very rewarding. The girls are lovely and we are now caring for them long term.

Our birth son is the eldest and although there is little interaction (he's quiet and they are very loud) he sees it as a positive experience and sees the benefits. His school performance has not dipped since the girls arrived and he has an active social life too so we have not seen any negatives regarding his well-being.

There are a few minor downsides that are easily outweighed by the positives but the one major downside has been to do with support from social services. Everything is a fight and comes too late. We are told these things should just happen but that is not the case for us. We are told we have been very unfortunate but two years down the line that doesn't mean much to us.

The paperwork is over the top although most of it is to manage SS. They seem to be good people who are overworked and underfunded. Also the girls have had many SW's in their time with us and none appear to work full time or are off a lot. Possible we have just been unlucky again.

Is it worth it - Yes! Would we have teenagers again - Yes! Does the system work and support you - Questionable.

I hope that helps :-)

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