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How much pocket money do you give your teen fc and what do they have to do to earn it?

(12 Posts)
Gymbob Sun 08-Feb-15 23:06:11

My dfd is 15. She gets a basic £5 per week. She does next to nothing in the house, apart from looking after her own room including changing her bedding. she might dry up once a week and peel some carrots.

She has always had the option of earning money if she'd like to do jobs, but chooses not to as she says it's my work and why should she. Cleaning my car is worth £10, but she's not interested as it requires effort and would mean coming off facebook to do it.

Today she asked me for some money for new shoes and I refused. she was furious and screamed that I have to buy her things she needs. I acknowledged that but said I don't have to buy her things that she wants, that's where earning your own comes in. She said she needs a new pair of shoes and needs them today. I disagreed as she has 4 pairs of winter shoes. she says she doesn't like them any more.

of course all her friends get £20 per week she says shock

Am I being tight?

please divulge your teen and money stories.

LineRunner Sun 08-Feb-15 23:08:10

What does your LA / fostering agency advise about pocket money and clothing allowance? I'd go along with that tbh.

PenguinSalute Sun 08-Feb-15 23:15:51

As PP says, there should be clear guidelines on age and pocket money from your LA. Ours is certainly more than £5 a week, and whilst I can appreciate what you're saying about imparting a work ethic and understanding the difference between wants and needs, I don't think a supervising social worker would be happy if your amount is significantly under guidelines.

Gillian1980 Mon 09-Feb-15 01:20:27

Where I am it's £15 p/w pocket money for 15 years and over, plus £5 p/w savings that they can't touch for all ages.
On top of that is clothing allowance which at 15 tends to be a mix of buying them what they need and then sometimes getting them items they want.
I'd check with your supervising social worker and stick to the agency or la policy.

Gymbob Mon 09-Feb-15 08:48:24

I will check on the guidelines again but believe I follow them properly.

She gets £15 per month on top of pocket money from another source and I also save £20 per month for her future.

£15 per week is a lot of money. are there strings attached to that, and I presume you are in the south?

LineRunner Mon 09-Feb-15 09:19:33

I think it might be best for you to contact the social worker who arranged the placement, or your foster carers' liaison panel or equivalent, to check the minimum amount of pocket money for 15 year olds in your area. The lowest minimum I have ever seen was £10 a week. (Plus savings.)

Pocket money can be a contentious issue within fostering arrangements which is why the guidelines are there. I imagine your 15 year old caree could well be aware of them herself? It's certainly something she's entitled to discuss with her social worker.

I hope you get it resolved.

Gillian1980 Mon 09-Feb-15 10:43:24

I am in the south but the agency is national and it's the same all over. There are no strings attached, it's actually policy that pocket money is unconditional and may not be withheld (which is controversial).

It is a lot of money - I got £3 at 15 for my pocket money which ended as soon as I got a Saturday job. But things they want do cost a lot of money these days don't they.

Is she friends with other kids in foster care? Could be that they get more (different policies at different places) and she thinks it's unfair?

queststarz Mon 09-Feb-15 13:22:43

My la guidelines were £6.65 a week at 15 then doubled at 16, this money they got unconditional, but could be used in agreement with social worker to pay for damages (e.g a bit each week) but the clothing/personal allowance was also available for clothes/cinema/phone top upscetc but all had to be proven with receipts, that was about £75 a week ( also used it towards holiday, day trips to theme park, svhool trips etc) it should be in the placement plan how pocket money/ clothing allowance is spent - a very contentious issue with teens!

fasparent Mon 09-Feb-15 14:07:03

Think one has too think beyond the box with teen's. We encourage ours too save, all have bank accounts pay in cash plus child benefit, They pay their own bus fare's and dinners for school (save's us the weekly hassle)
have too manage their own budget including phone. We buy the usual clothes etc. If they want designer gear have too pay the difference themselves (surprising how they buy alternatives of good quality). We start this as soon as they go on too senior school. Has worked well in general over the years.

Gymbob Mon 09-Feb-15 19:01:05

I think that after reading through your kind replies I might look at giving a clothing allowance on a monthly basis, rather than giving a lump sum as I have been. Money will always be a contentious issue as you all say.

She's heavily involved with other fc, so of course she enlightens me on a regular basis as to how hard done by she is. Less than half of it is true though.

I really don't have a problem with the money side of things. It's more about teaching her a work ethic. She is very anti anything that involves moving. My job is to prepare her for life on her own by equipping her with the life skills she will need. She isn't learning any of them as she refuses to get up and do anything. I feel that giving her money will just reinforce the fact that she will still get what she wants and not have to do anything to earn it. The 'no strings attached' phrase really sticks in my throat!!

How do you manage this with your dfc's?

fasparent Mon 09-Feb-15 22:38:43

Well explained how we do it, they have too except normal house rules which apply to every one, Tidy and clean own room, do dishwasher, as and when, empty their rubbish, everything in general, just normal family helping out. put dirty washing in basket.
If they do not co operate , we don't, gets deducted, give them a chance 1st though. Of course like all teen's they will try it on, and relapses from time to time

hazelkelly Tue 10-Feb-15 18:47:15

One of mine get £5 a week in her hand and £5 a week in the bank. They have the chance to earn extra money but don't. I pay for there hobbies max of £10 a week. The other is £5 a week and £5 saved (different local authority) The second uses a bottle of perfume in 2 weeks makeup is constantly applied so the £5 she saves goes towards that. I will buy perfume and such at a reasonable rate. As for cloths they get what they need and more when they need it as I've had many children leave cloths at parent home so I don't over buy.

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