I have previously posted under the Adoption thread, as when we started this, we thought that we would be adopting. Hope this link works:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/2101817-Permanent-placement-of-6yo-with-us?
If the link does not work, basically we are in the process of taking a 7 year old relative of my DH. It is a distant relative, a little boy, and he has been is SS care since May 2013. Originally we were offered an adoption however, we were then told we could not adopt him as he wants to maintain a relationship with his mother, so we were told that a Special Guardian Order could be made.
We are new to all of this, so have had to learn quickly and the advice I received on previous thread was excellent. After looking at all the options we have now requested that we foster him on a kinship placement for 6-12 months before we do the SGO. This is really to keep his support in place. We also have a 2 year old DS and a 16 year old DS and have to look at the impact this is going to have on them.
His SW has just called and said that whilst he is under s20 care, his mum still retains parental responsibility for him, so we cannot foster as the Local Authority doesn't have PR and isn't willing to apply for it. If we fostered his mum would keep the PR.
Backstory to the care is, the child's mother did not cope with him, and this gradually turned into her abusing him, by hitting him, starving him, denying him basic clothes, taking all his things from his room including carpets, curtains and light bulbs and locking him in the dark. She then contacted Social Services and placed him in care herself. She maintains to this day, the abuse he suffered was his own fault as he was naughty. His SW confirmed that to me in her last visit.
I just do not understand how she can still retain PR for him despite everything, and the Local Authority not be willing to apply for it so they are basically trying to force us into applying for a Special Guardianship before we are ready. Of course want to get this poor child out of care and just give him the love and stability he has never had, but we still want some support with that. Has anyone ever had experience of something similar?
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.
Fostering
Kinship Placement/Special Guardianship
GertyD · 05/11/2014 14:44
Hi Gerty, I've just had a read of your previous thread briefly. In simulator circumstances, my eldest dd was placed with me under a sgo when she was 8, she was originally my goddaughter and had suffered abuse for which charges were brought. I also took custody from birth last year of her now 11 month old birth sister, initially under a sgo but adopted her formally at 8 months with her bm s consent which sped the process.
Under a sgo you will have parental responsibility but key decisions maybe referred to the court. This I very important when I comes to medical decisions.
My dd was too old in ss opinion to be adopted (she 17 now) but any contact with her bm is prohibited by court order.
I have to say if ss aren't prepared to assume pr then Your options do seem to be limited to a sgo, if you are definitely taking him in. And whichever way you go support in my experience will stop after about a year anyway in the main part. (Only my experience I maybe mistaken) I found the sgo offered a degree of security to both myself and more importantly my dd, she needed em to be able to make the big decisions, to know I could be trusted. (My dd was in a very bad way when she came to me 
)
Please feel free to ask any questions, I'll help if I can.
Makes sense.
Are you anticipating needing specific 'help'? I mean with my eldest she needed play/art therapy and later more structured counselling. I only ask as you could try approaching them, from that angle, agree to a sgo but have in writing that they agree to provide the help required.
Have they offered any flexibility or are they refusing to go for pr absolutely?
I am obviously a huge advocate of sgo s in general but you have to be to be 100% happy with. The arrangement and on the same page with ss and are absolutely right to question them and wait if necessary.
Fwiw I think ss will do try sometimes to take the easiest option, ?ot saying they don't try their best or have the best intentions but they are bound by constraints and some of that is financial. (Not that I'm at all cynical me 
)
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