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How to deal with 14mth old FC who has always been co-sleeping

(11 Posts)
willitbe Thu 11-Sep-14 19:29:32

We have a 14 month old, that we have been told always slept with the grandmother. We obviously can't co-sleep with them, how do we do transition into being happy in the cot?

Also napping during the day, only goes to sleep in the car or when being held crying. What tips do you have for introducing being settled to sleep in the cot during the day too?

When they first arrived, they screamed at being on their back at any time. This is no longer an issue unless they think we are trying to get them to sleep.

I look forward to having some suggestions from peoples experiences.

LynetteScavo Thu 11-Sep-14 20:37:10

Sit with him, hand through the cot for physical contact, and very gradually withdraw.
It won't be quick, though!

Discobugsacha Thu 11-Sep-14 20:42:08

Can you get a side car crib? I think you're in for a lot of nights of crying if you suddenly expect him to sleep alone. Are you not allowed to put him in Your bed?

fasparent Thu 11-Sep-14 23:19:23

Difficult one, we tend too do all the niite, nite, pre bed time things in the lounge, or dining room, story time, cuddles, etc. then goodnight too every one, off too bed with final kiss and cuddle into cot bed, with teddy ,favourite blanket, music and alarm on , light off and nite,nite, Think once one has established a routine should settle well, day time nap's should follow quite easy once this has been established. Understand concerns of co sleeping as FC's we can not use cot buffers have too put baby on there backs, but at 14 months child will define their own sleeping position.
Good luck

furcoatbigknickers Thu 11-Sep-14 23:21:29

Why can't you co-sleep?

wonderpants Fri 12-Sep-14 07:11:04

We had a similar one with a 4 year old. In fairness, he was thrilled with his bed, and although there was a lot of sitting in the chair next to the bed for a while, and disturbed nights, it only took a few weeks to settle into a good bedtime routine from a chaotic no routine/ no set bed/ wandering at night. Good luck!

scarlet5tyger Fri 12-Sep-14 16:01:06

Furcoat co-sleeping is absolutely out of the question for a foster carer - you'd be leaving yourself wide open to all sorts of allegations. Don't think my LA would agree to a side-car crib either.

I had a child who'd witnessed all sorts and was terrified of night times. I had a chair right next to her bed and used to sit with her until she was asleep at first, then gradually moved further away until I was sitting outside the room. It took months (and felt longer!) but she was going to sleep by herself by the time she moved on.

(Once I got used to the idea that I was going to be stuck there for 2 hours a night it got a bit easier - I used to put my iPod on and have a rest as she didn't want me talking to her, just to know I was there)

furcoatbigknickers Fri 12-Sep-14 16:17:33

Oh I see that makes sense

Littlemeg37 Sat 29-Nov-14 01:17:07

Could you not have the cot right up against the bed and lie down with hand through cot till they are asleep at first, gradually move it farther away? Then start and leave when they are about to drop off to sleep.

fasparent Wed 03-Dec-14 23:16:43

Google co sleeping cot's and beds

Disneyfan1995 Fri 05-Dec-14 23:19:10

We had one who at 10 months had never slept through the night. I spent several weeks in the room with the FC, starting by holding their hand as they dropped off, gradually working up to just being in the same room, and then eventually I was able to put them down and they settled themselves. The daytime naps followed the same pattern. Took about 6 weeks and a lot of patience.

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