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How to cope??

5 replies

baby0684 · 06/09/2014 22:35

Hi. I am looking to become a foster carer, but would like to get my head straight about a few things 1st.

I will be a single foster carer, with 2 children. 1 of whom is 9, and other who is 3.

I am looking at fostering young children/babies.
Obviously I know that babies will have to have alot of different check ups, and I am prepared for that. But I know that the birth parents sometimes come to the appointments. What happens if the appointments are out of school time? Do my children come along to? Or do I arrange other people to have them?

Also is there just myself who would be crb checked, or will my mum and dad be too? My children go over to theirs once a week, most of the time I am there, but sometimes I go do the shopping, cut the hedge, decorating etc. It doesn't matter, just wondered.

How many references do you have? From what I understand, you give a family one, and 2 others.

Also if anyone has any other things that I might need to think about, just let me know.

Thankyou x

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3catsnokids · 07/09/2014 07:50

Hi, I foster, but don't have my own kids so I'm not too sure about what you would be expected to do with your own children during appointments. However, when I've had letters about medicals etc for my foster children in the past they have said 'please don't bring other children' so there may be times yours would have to be looked after elsewhere.

With regard to CRB (which is now called DBS), anyone that you want to babysit the children should have a check done. In theory. However, in practice your authority may be like mine and never contact the people you have selected as your support network.

When I needed a babysitter so I could go to a longstanding commitment I asked my fostering officer and she said that if it was someone I knew and trusted I could use my judgement to decide whether to leave the children with them or not. So my mum babysat without having a DBS check.

I don't know if different authorities have different requirements regarding references. Mine asked for 2 and neither were allowed to be from family members. A friend of mine and a friend of my husband's gave references.

Good luck with it all. I've only been doing it for a few months but it's very rewarding.

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mum2tots · 07/09/2014 17:21

It depends on what the appointment is. If you would normally take your other child when the other had an appointment then i would take them as usual. I don't take my children when I take FC to contact if i can help it.

My LA say anyone that you are going to regularly use as a baby sitter needw to be DBS checked one offs or occasional dont need to be. We had to give 6 references. I know lots and lots of people that foster under 7's who have no placements and having been empty for a long time. Us included my La are no longer accepting people that want under 7's so hopefully yours is a little more flexible.

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3catsnokids · 07/09/2014 17:36

I've heard that about some LAs mum2tots but I think it really depends where in the country you are. My husband and I had 2 under 7s placed with us within 2 days of being approved at panel.

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Goldenlab · 09/09/2014 21:53

Along with regular appointments, if you have a baby placed with you you may be expected to take the baby to contact with the parents many times a week. It would be unlikely that you would be able to take your own children to contact. I'd have a chat with your LA/IFA to work out whether this is for you at this stage.