I would like to foster in the future but I'm not sure if my reasons for wanting to do so will actually count against me. I hope it's okay to ask here.
My parents were abusive. They are seemingly nice people with respectable jobs but I experienced pretty much every type of abuse. I missed a lot of school, left home at 17 to live with my drug dealer boyfriend and then spent a long time in an abusive relationship.
I am now in my 30s and happily married to a kind and gentle man. I have a master's degree and a decent career, though I'm not sure I want to stay in it forever and would seriously consider giving up work to foster somewhere down the line.
I have undergone a lot of personal therapy and my therapist has essentially done what a good foster parent would do: sticking around while I repeatedly tried to sabotage the relationship and refused to accept his kindness.
I feel I have some personal understanding of what it is to be a traumatised child. I've dipped into threads on here and the behaviour of people's FCs makes so much sense to me. I would really like to foster teenagers and I think I could learn to do a decent job of it - I'm not naive enough to think I know it all already!
But I wonder if the very reasons I think I would make a good foster carer would count against me - the fact I have my own history of trauma and I lack my own functional family background (I am not in contact with my birth family and to cut a long story in short the police have taken measures to stop them contacting me).
I would really appreciate any input as to whether I could be accepted as a foster carer as I would like to look into it in the not so distant future. Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.
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Would I be able to foster?
8 replies
jessjessjess · 21/01/2014 14:14
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