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Would you take on a family members kids?.

(34 Posts)
lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 14-Jul-13 21:15:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kendodd Fri 26-Jul-13 15:43:47

Yes, but depending on what the children were like. Sad to say but if they were very damaged with unmanageable behaviour, then No, I don't think I could cope and it would have too detrimental affect on my own children.

I would also want them to then stay with me permanently and not in and out of parents care, to be let down yet again and be unable to stay. I have seen this with my own family, in and out of care seems the worse outcome of all.

ProphetOfDoom Fri 26-Jul-13 15:30:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 15:23:45

It would depend in alot of things tbh. What age i was- if my own dcs would cope with it- whether the foster dcs had extra needs Nd whether i could meet them- how hostile ir co-operative the mother/rest of family would be- how long it would be for- what support i/ they would get to
transition. Lots of factors to take into account

poppingin1 Fri 26-Jul-13 15:22:20

I would.

Frikadellen Fri 26-Jul-13 15:20:35

yes I will and I did when my sister needed help with my niece. (not due to issues with sister and niece I hasten to add) Niece lived with us for 18 months. Harder to say about cousins as I live in the UK and my cousins are all in Denmark would be a very hard swap for the kids to suddenly be uprouted to another country.

Mrpip Fri 19-Jul-13 21:08:03

Yes I would and I have. I took on my niece as a baby and I wouldn't hesitate to do the same again even though I now have 5 children. I didn't think twice when the situation arouse. It's been difficult for numerous reasons ( and it will continue to be) but I honestly never considered saying no as a option for me. I'm extremely thankful my dh felt the same way.

lisad123everybodydancenow Mon 15-Jul-13 00:17:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shesparkles Mon 15-Jul-13 00:13:02

Sibling or extended family's children, without a second thought. Fortunately the children do all,see a lot of each other and it's a relatively tight age group

lisad123everybodydancenow Mon 15-Jul-13 00:07:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

XBenedict Sun 14-Jul-13 23:16:56

Yes I would take siblings children without hesitation, not sure about cousins, probably. Difficult situation for you OP.

Clearlymisunderstood Sun 14-Jul-13 23:15:31

Absolutely, I would have my niece if anything happened to my sister and I am a named guardian of my younger brother and sister if anything happened to both my mum and stepdad. Distant relatives whose children I don't really have a relationship with I would have to think a lot more carefully about.

TidyDancer Sun 14-Jul-13 23:14:24

Yes I would. I would take on the children of any of my siblings.

DP and I are named guardians in his half sister's will (he has three siblings, dsis is the only one with children) to take her two DCs in the event she and her DH both died.

Very difficult though. You have my greatest sympathy for the sad situation in your family.

curableromantic Sun 14-Jul-13 23:10:02

We took DH's (then DP's) 12 year old nephew to live with us three years ago, the same year we had a baby. It was hard and still is sometimes but it was clearly necessary and our moral duty.

Annunziata Sun 14-Jul-13 23:09:56


TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff Sun 14-Jul-13 23:09:52

Yes. I was a child like that once. I wish someone had taken me in.

So I would do it. It would be hard. It would be tough. It would be a big struggle- for everyone, especially the child. But I would HAVE to.

Annunziata Sun 14-Jul-13 23:09:12

I have twice. You can PM if you like.

notanyanymore Sun 14-Jul-13 23:06:57

Yes definitely

BeaWheesht Sun 14-Jul-13 23:05:17

Any of our nieces and nephews then yes - it helps that they're all the same ages as my children so not a massive age difference if that makes sense?

Flojobunny Sun 14-Jul-13 23:01:43

Yes. Without hesitation.

Beamur Sun 14-Jul-13 22:58:51

My Mum had this dilemma when I was a child, my cousin spent a great deal of time with us and the parents were having a difficult time. My parents were about to move away and my Mum wanted to offer to foster the child and take him with us but my Dad refused to consider it. My cousin stayed with his parents but had an awful childhood and left home at 14, is now an alcoholic and his life is generally a shambles. My Mum (and I) often wonder if it would have turned out differently if he had come to live with us instead. Very sad. I didn't have a perfect childhood, but I felt secure and loved and have turned out reasonably ok I think.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 14-Jul-13 22:53:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrianTheMole Sun 14-Jul-13 21:40:41

Yes I would.

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Sun 14-Jul-13 21:38:34

Absolutely, 100%, no questions asked. Probably naive but my sister was taken into care when she was young and noone stepped up to help her. It had devastating and (so far) lifelong consequences. And there are some bloody unsavoury characters in my extended family that I wouldn't want having responsibility for the unlucky kids, if I could help it.

I guess, a more generic answer would be- it depends what the alternative is

expatinscotland Sun 14-Jul-13 21:33:50

I couldn't afford it.

coffeewineandchocolate Sun 14-Jul-13 21:31:56

my siblings children yes but probably not more extended family. I work with kinship carers and see how intrusive the agreement process is and how much it changes their lives on terms of family dynamics, contact, emotionally and financially...

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