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Fostering

feeling quite "empty"

4 replies

MommaT · 14/07/2013 17:41

Hi all, just wanted to air my feelings, in need of a cyber hug!
My 1st placement, which lasted 16 months has just come to an end, LO has been adopted by a beautiful family and she is going to have a great life, I have no doubt, but.....I am missing her so much, this job is super tough!!! xx

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Parsnipcake · 14/07/2013 17:46

The first one is always the hardest. I remember it well. There is no point in platitudes and cliches, but another child who desperately needs you will come along soon, and it does help. There are always children it is hard to let go of, and no training really helps manage the emotions involved. Just take it day by day, be kind to yourself and look forward the next opportunity you get to make a difference.
'it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all' really is true for fOster carers.

Take care x

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Lilka · 14/07/2013 17:51

Never doubt for a minute what a fantastic and profound effect your good care will have had on her mental wellbeing. Nurturing loving care for 16 months is something the brain won't forget (even if there isn't a conscious memory, the body keeps score)

It must be incredibly painful losing her though. Here are my cyber for you

Also as an adoptive mum (who also has a very good friend who is a FC), I so appreciate the amazing job done by fantastic foster carers every day xx :)

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Roshbegosh · 14/07/2013 17:55

mommaT so sad, it helps to think of the LO going to be happy with a forever family but so hard for you to let go of a child you have loved. Hugs and Flowers. Do follow up and let us know how you get on with this x

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fasparent · 15/07/2013 11:29

Know how you and your family feel, hope you have another placement soon , sooner the better. Been foster parent for 38 years remember our
1st placement moving on and our last a few months ago, like your self's. our feelings don't change big consolation is feedback and hearing how happy and settled all the children are with their new mums and dads and family's . More rewarding is children being placed back with birth family's working with them and support services sure you will encounter this in time. Hope you get a new child soon.

Kindest regards.

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