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After reading recent threads here, are we mad to start fostering?

(14 Posts)
willitbe Tue 30-Apr-13 08:26:07

We are due to go to panel in June, but having read the recent threads of people resigning, I am starting to have second thoughts.

Please can you give me some hope that it might not be as bad,

Or give me advice on how to deal with the SW's

Or tell me to quit while the going is good!

I am seriously having second thoughts about it having read some sad resigning threads here.

lovesmileandlaugh Tue 30-Apr-13 10:16:22

Thank you for your post, we are in the same position (although our panel date is even closer!).
We've agreed we can only give it our best shot! It is something that it is important for me to at least try!
Good luck!!

redgate Tue 30-Apr-13 10:41:30

Well done for getting as far as a panel date, you are almost there!

Please don't worry, it is perfectly normal to feel a bit nervous about what you are letting yourselves in for. Remember, as lovely as forums like this are - people are a lot more likely to post about problems they have, rather than coming on here and saying how much they love fostering, get loads of support and fantastic placements.

Don't get me wrong, like anything else it will have its moments - there will be complicated reasons why the children need to be placed with you, children's services are a law unto themselves at times, and it is is very very hard work - but it is the most amazing thing I have ever done, and 6 years down the line I still absolutely love it smile smile

NotmylastRolo Tue 30-Apr-13 12:10:47

Redgate is absolutely correct and I agree totally with that view. Our personal experiences are unique to us and the dynamics between us and our LA. Your experiences will be unique to you and I am sure that you will go on to great fostering.

I wish you joy and good luck and I truly know that you will not regret fostering. We certainly feel that the children we have fostered have changed our lives (disagreements with the LA put aside for the moment!) It will change your life and certainly that of a child.

Good luck.

scarlet5tyger Tue 30-Apr-13 19:15:20

There's no denying its a tough time at the moment, but hopefully that can't last forever (fingers crossed!). It's also a time when children need good foster carers more than ever too.

I have a really challenging placement at the moment but I still wouldn't want to do any other job. Good luck with panels, both of you.

childatheart Tue 30-Apr-13 21:14:18

The thing to always keep asking yourself is the main reason that you came into fostering ? If you are able to concentrate on the child and doing your utmost for them, then all the red tape and frustration (and there is a hell of a lot) will be worth it.

Never lose sight of the most important thing !!

lostonline Wed 01-May-13 08:19:07

My advice would be go to panel and then see how you feel - if you have done all the assessments you will not want to go through all that again !!
I am a new carer - long term placement arriving at the end of the month - so I don't really have any experience yet but I am very excited !
Good luck

Gillian1980 Wed 01-May-13 13:33:07

I would say that it will be different for every carer, so don't be too put off by other peoples experiences. It depends on your LA or agency and how supportive they are; the individual child and their Social Worker.

Don't be afraid to say no to a placement if you strongly feel that it wouldn't be a good match for you and your family; you may feel pressure but you don't have to say yes!

Focus on why you are doing it and just do your best, that is all you can do.

fasparent Wed 01-May-13 15:41:38

38 Year's fostering an old hand still going strong , have too go with the flow has been many changes in all our years some good and bad, have too adapt as you go. Main thing is have to be total diplomat, listener,
master of all thing most important Non Judgmental of all area's , Main job is care and future of your charges , and a happy life as possible too
easy too get drawn into issues just ignore them. Good luck we are very
happy regardless of ups and downs.

musickeepsmesane Wed 01-May-13 20:40:26

We can't imagine not doing it. I wish I started earlier. It is like any job, you get used to the systems and how people work and once you are in control of that and you feel more confident it is a doddle. Well, okay, not a doddle but easier to manage!! The kids are amazing. I would say go for it!

lovesmileandlaugh Thu 02-May-13 07:43:43

Thank you, you've made me feel a bit better! I just had a bad case of 'oh shit what the hell am I doing?' In the run up to panel!

willitbe Thu 02-May-13 09:47:50

Thank you all for your replies.

It looks like the main thing is to keep focused on the children. How to cope with the LA's is something to learn and I must also learn confidence of how to say no, when needed.

But the posts here have encouraged me to keep going, and to trust that the right placement will be made, and that we will be able to help with caring for a child.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Roshbegosh Thu 02-May-13 10:11:36

It is really hard but I don't regret doing it. The SW's are sometimes rubbish and sometimes great and they make so many demands on us. The other thing is the family contact that can be unsettling for the child so things might have been going well and suddenly there is school exclusion and other trouble. We have a 12 year old who we love to bits now, three years after he came to us, but things are going off track because we want to move and he is hitting the hormones so it is a huge struggle day to day. Sorry, this won't help you at all. It is a really rewarding thing to do and I think you should go ahead. There are plenty of carers who are dreadful so good carers are needed and you can change a child's life. Good luck.

fasparent Thu 02-May-13 20:03:04

Good on you all, just for interest our last 8 placements ALL have settled with their family's or new adoptive family ALL with very positive outcomes , so best too be none judgemental.

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