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Oh dear [sad]

(5 Posts)
cazzmags Tue 16-Apr-13 14:32:37

If any of my LA sw's read this they'll prob know who I am but I'm currently past bloody caring.

We have a child in placement longterm and have had them 2 years. We go to panel next week for the permanant match and all has been well recently despite encountering hideous problems for the first year of placement mainly due to social worker incompetance. Anyway long story short, found out at the weekend from birth mother that she has moved to my village and is living round the corner!!! She has very limited contact but a village being what it is we will undoubtedly bump into her on a pretty regular basis. She poses no physical threat however has the ability to cause a lot of emotional distress just by her presence.

Best bit being SS knew but didn't bother to tell us and I found out from the mother! Fanbloodytastic, I now face the prospect of looking over my shoulder for possibly the next 10/12 years to see if mother is at large.

Don't want the placement to break down obviously but is it in the childs's interests to live in permanent placement round the corner from mother?

I give up.....I really do.

Panadbois Wed 17-Apr-13 15:53:44

Oh bugger hmm not ideal at all and a huge extra strain on you.

fostermumtomany Wed 17-Apr-13 16:30:14

our last LO's birth family lived in the same village as me. I wasn't informed of this, had I been I would have refused the placement but ss lied and said they lived over 8 miles away.
I just want to say that the whole time LO was with us her family never once came to our house, they were extremely well behaved. however, we did bump into them on a daily basis. everytime we saw them we told ss.
I now have an issue whereby we are being investigated for this as someone has told ss that we deliberately set up meetings and orchestrated bumping into them so they could have extra contacts. its utter rubbish and our ssw knows it is but the area manager has decided to have a witch hunt and it seems clear to me she wants us out.

so despite our recording every time we saw the birth family and informing ss, we are still in bother for it, and this is one of the (many) reasons we are now resigning.

if I were you I would ask for it to go on record that you cannot be to blame if you bump into the mother and that you will notify and record any accidental meetings. the difficulty you face is that if you are on the same street at the same time, do you just ignore her and walk past without saying a word or do you interact with her.
if you ignore her it could cause her to react in a negative way, if you talk to her it could cause you problems with your ssw and (as I do not know the situation) it could distress the FC either way.

as for the fact that ss knew and didn't inform you, put in an official complaint. At least that way if they ever try to use it against you you have it on file that you complained about not being informed. it will show you were not happy with her living near you and that you are uncomfortable with it.

musickeepsmesane Wed 17-Apr-13 17:10:38

I am reading your threads in the wrong order, what a shit day. flowers

cazzmags Fri 19-Apr-13 16:44:01

Thanks for your replies. Our SSW is onside and trying to get something sorted out. Turns out the LAC workers were aware of the likelyhood of this move 5 months ago! It just beggars belief.

Fostermumtomany - I've read a lot of your posts and without a doubt you have had been treated appallingly. What a tragedy that someone like you is feeling the need to resign due to the incompetent idiots you have to try and work with! It's the children that suffer and I must say it is very disheartening to read the recent posts on here from so many good carers who, like yourself, find their position untenable. I sometimes don't know why we all put ourselves through all this grief and aggrevation, fostering is by far the hardest most emotionally draining thing I've ever done.

Take care everyone and hang on in there! flowers

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