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Thinking about giving notice on our placement

(38 Posts)
freddiefrog Sun 13-Jan-13 20:09:25

I really really don't want to. I really don't want to be yet another person who has let my FC down, but I really don't know what to do anymore. Maybe a good old whinge will make me feel better.

Our LA is useless, I can't quite describe just how useless they are. Useless doesn't quite cover it.

My FC has been with us several months and still hasn't been transferred from the short-term team to the looked after team, we've had no LAC review, and our FC doesn't even have a social worker at present.

The make promises they don't keep, lie to our FC, never return calls and basically have had no input in their care since they've been here. Everything that has been done has been done by us and our SSW. They break their own rules when it suits them, they totally undermine anything we are trying to do

FC is supposed to have a YOT worker, a drug and alcohol worker, an education welfare officer, but we've had no contact or input from anyone. Despite almost daily phone calls from me, we've never spoken to any of them. FC has a conditional discharge for shoplifting - part of this discharge was that she attend counselling and YOT appointments

In the beginning it wasn't too bad, we didn't really need anyone as FC settled in well and was behaving well. No problem.

We've had a horrific month with them - FC has been drunk pretty much every day, arrests for shoplifting, drunken behaviour, assault, posession of drugs, more shoplifting, absconding 5 days out of 7, etc, etc. LA refuse to send out an appropriate adult when she's arrested so we are pressurised by the police to do it - it's against the LA's own policies for anyone who has not done the AA training to do it

Culminating in this weekend, a fear that FC was going to run away with a friend and the police putting an alert out to all bus and train stations.

Still nothing from the LA

We were told by the police on Friday that our FC associates with a known sex offender (the person they were concerned FC was going to run away with), information that has been known by the police and social services for several months - no one told us! (the police thought we had been informed by SS months ago) We don't know their name, what they look like or anything. The thought that our FC may have bought this person to our house where our 2 young girls live makes me feel sick.

I can't cope with this anymore. Social Services have dumped our FC and left us to get on with it.

I've put in an official complaint, hopefully that will shake them up a bit, but if nothing happens we're going to have to seriously discuss giving notice on our placement as it's putting our own daughter's at risk now.

I don't know what else to do now

freddiefrog Tue 15-Jan-13 15:34:12

Thank you

My girls are 11 & 7. My eldest is the age the convictions are for

freddiefrog Tue 15-Jan-13 15:43:29

Oh, and now we've given notice they're all rushing around organising meetings and appointments and my phone hasn't stopped ringing for the last 10 minutes.

We've now got a LAC review, a cross-authority meeting, EWO are coming out, YOT are coming to see us.

Shame it took us giving notice to see any action

Oodsigma Tue 15-Jan-13 16:36:48

Just take your records to the meetings!

New SW could be a catalyst too but interesting they only got one when a fuss was made.

underworld888 Tue 15-Jan-13 18:51:52

Oh Freddiefrog,

I do feel for you, just got so peed off, and so angry sometimes I wanted a good cry.

Our fc he has not gone school again, he goes out and comes back in the evening (not gone missing for 2 weeks now), but like ur fc he knows what to say, smile and say yes I don't know why I do it and as soon as he's out the door PARTY TIME !!!

Do you give ur fc pocket money? What we do now as fc has 10 pounds a week pocket money, if he goes missing we take away 5 pounds and tell him we are putting it into savings for him, the first few weeks he went nuts, shouting and swearing but hey!! it seems to be working.

Not saying it will work or start to solve any of ur problems but its a start, even if they say they will go and nick something they soon get fed up.

I would turn my phone off after hours as you have told everyone, they will soon have to bring her home, I know its hard and u feel guilty but thats the only way things seem to get done :-)

But if you only have 28 days left with her now not much point in what I said, and its a shame as this young fc is missing out on a someone who actually cares to look after her :-(

bonnieslilsister Wed 16-Jan-13 10:05:07

Well done op for being so good to the fc despite everything. I am sure you are doing the right thing. You have an extremely hard job. Hope you can have a little break when she goes and don't beat yourself up about her going. It sounds like the right thing for your family thanks

BoffinMum Wed 16-Jan-13 10:27:07

I am not a foster parent but reading all that I wondered whether the police have any means of supporting you, for example via mentoring/victim support links/informal meetings and so on? If not, it would be great if there were some mechanism as at the moment they are spending more time on cleaning up the mess than it would take to get involved more deeply via prevention ... but perhaps I am being unrealistic.

freddiefrog Wed 16-Jan-13 11:03:50


We have actually agreed to reassess the notice period when we have the big meeting on Friday.

They are desperate to rescue the placement, we are literally the last placement for our FC, they'll have to be sent out of the area if it breaks down

Lots more information has come to light today - basically we were lied to by SS when we agreed to take the placement on, but now we know what we actually need to know we can move forward

Meeting is on Friday so we'll see. Our notice is still active, but we'll talk more with SS over the weekend to see if we can rescue the situation.

As it stands, I still want to end it, but I'm willing to see what everyone has to say for themselves and whether we can take it forward

Oodsigma Wed 16-Jan-13 12:50:50

There's also the question of whether a move further away might be better for them.

freddiefrog Wed 16-Jan-13 13:19:48

I agree to be honest.

But it all comes down to money - we were told by our SSW that if they send her out of area it will cost £££

She has also categorically refused to leave the area. Has made it quite clear she will run away for good if they attempt it.

On another note, the LA's Ofstead report has come to light today - inadequate in all areas. Explains a lot!

lovesmileandlaugh Wed 16-Jan-13 15:48:29

Although they have to look at the best thing for your FC, they also have to consider your BC too. Your FC sounds like she is being groomed/ manipulated by this paedophile, and I would be so worried that he will use FC to get to your younger daughters. It frightens me that LA didn't remove her the moment they knew she was associating with a known paedophile.
To say it comes down to money is awful! Is this man not in breach of any order to stay away from children?

freddiefrog Wed 16-Jan-13 17:22:41

I don't really understand why this person is allowed to still be hanging around.

They've been issued a Child Abduction Warning notice. Every time this person is caught with our FC they get arrested. FC and this person have made it clear they won't stop seeing each other so I don't know why the person hasn't been dealt with properly. The police arrest them, let them out and they go straight back to meet my FC - on Monday afternoon they were arrested, got let out and my FC met them in the police station car park - the police just let them go off together. I'm amazed by it all tbh.

I'm pretty certain of my decision. I'm done. I'll give them all a fair hearing on Friday, but I don't envisage changing my mind

I've got a massive list of things I'm not prepared to put up with and things I expect from everyone else. We'll have to see what they all say

stormforce10 Thu 17-Jan-13 13:01:16

I'm not a foster parent but I've just read this thread with tears streaming down my face - tears for you, your family and your poor FC. Its going to be hard but I think you're doing the right thing. Stick to it and hopefuly they'll place FC out of area and a LONG WAY from this dangerous adult.

It sounds like you've done everything you can but you have to put your own children first. You've been failed, your FC hsa been failed and hopefully by giving notice and carrying it through you can do one last thing to help your FC by pushing for him to be moved somewhere safer.

Good luck to you all

freddiefrog Thu 17-Jan-13 18:58:17


The person isn't actually from here, they've travelled here specifically to see our FC. Wherever FC is they are at risk from this person, and FC thinks this person is the best thing since sliced bread and won't stay away from them.

I think our FC would be better out of the area as it will get her away from the bad influence of her friends, but FC won't have a bar of it. I'm hoping she gets tagged and put on a curfew at her next court appearance as it will give us some control over her

There has been some developments with the person today so hopefully we've seen the back of them for now

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