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Fostering

A few questions if anyone would be so kind...

3 replies

therewearethen · 26/11/2012 13:37

Without saying to much, someone I know has started the process of applying to become a foster parent, I know NOTHING about the whole process or what is involved and have some stupid and basic questions if anyone would take the time to answer them for me.

From what I've been told when filling in the application you need to state all past partners, is this people you've lived with or just had a relationship with over a certain period? What would happen if some of these were left off the application and is there anyway of checking?

If you are successful in your application and children are placed with you, are the children still in contact with their birth parents or is all contact withheld?

If contact with birth parents happens, how exactly, do the children get taken to a contact centre/the birth parents house for the night etc? Or do informal agreements exist were birth parents come to the foster parents house?

If a family member/friend was to pop over for coffee, and the foster children were there, would the family member/friend need a CRB check or something just to be in the presents of the foster children?

Can the foster children been taken away on holidays in the UK or abroad or do you need permission from social services first?

If the foster family choose to have a party with family/friends and alcohol, would this be aloud or would prior permission again have to be sort from social services?

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scarlet5tyger · 26/11/2012 15:35

Hi, I'm assuming the "person" is you?? :D

You'll be able to get most of these answers from the social worker assigned to you once you begin your assessment but these are a couple of basic answers to your questions:

Not sure about the relationships. I put all down but don't think they're looking for names of every person you've ever been on a date with!

Contact between children and birth parents is hugely important. I cannot stress enough how highly it is promoted. You will be expected to put it above most other commitments (the only times I will ever cancel contact is if child is poorly or has another appointment, which parents will then attend with us instead).

Contact varies from area to area but in my own area FCs are expected to transport children to a family centre where contact is supervised by a professional. We are sometimes asked to be this "professional". I also sometimes support contact outside the centre - eg have attended play groups and Santas grottos with children and birth parents, but only when there was little risk to the child. I've never had birth parents visit my house, but other FCs I know do do this.

People who pop in do not need a crb check - as a FC you would be expected to mix with "the right company" so to speak - but you will have to nominate a couple of people to be CRB checked who could act as support for you if needed. A child could only ever be left with one of these nominated people.

FCs are encouraged t take their FC on holiday with them, both in Uk and abroad. Birth parents can (and do) object but this has always been over ruled by Social Services in my experience as holidays are a positive life experience for the child. You always need permission from SS to take child away, even if just for one night.

I don't think you have to have permission to have a party, even with alcohol, as long as there are responsible adults there and you're not giving the alcohol to the kids! It's important to remember that some children are frightened by parties though - several of the children I've fostered hated parties because this was when they saw their parents at their worst.

Hope this helps a bit, good luck with your application!

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DecAndAnt · 26/11/2012 20:35

Agree with everything Scarlet said apart from who you can leave the children with.
This has recently changed as foster children were being treated unfairly e.g not allowed to go to friends for tea and not allowed on sleepovers. So being treated differently to your birth children.
We have been told the foster children are allowed with anyone you would trust your own children to go to.

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therewearethen · 29/11/2012 14:25

Thanks for replying, I did wonder if anyone would think it was me applying, it's not, it's someone very close to me and I was just wondering how it would impact on our family if that makes sense! Thanks again

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