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Husbands past

(7 Posts)
Suze1981 Tue 13-Nov-12 11:39:38

Hi, I'm new here, we are about to become foster careers to my niece and just been given the last lots of paperwork to fill in, in all the meetings we have never been asked about parts of our past, other than criminal convictions which neither of us have ever had, but when my husband was in his late teens and early 20's he used drugs, any that were going and yes the really bad stuff, he barely even touches aspirin nowadays and would never touch anything illegal again and has been clean for about 13 years, is this likely to effect our chances, I've know about his past since we met 11 years ago, we now have 4 children, our own home and he is self employed with a successful business.
One of the questions on the blue form is do you or have you ever.......... Now we don't want to lie, but we would be truly devastated if his past mistakes will ruin a brilliant future for my niece, anyone got any idea?

scarlet5tyger Tue 13-Nov-12 14:22:10

Do not lie! I cannot stress this strongly enough. An adoption for one of my LOs broke down because an adoptive parent lied about using drugs in the past - the SW said they could have worked around the drug usage as it was long ago, but they couldn't work around the fact that the prospective father had withheld information.

Suze1981 Tue 13-Nov-12 14:47:31

Thankyou for your reply, How do we bring the subject up now? We have just had the directional hearing, and it looks like she will be coming here under temperery foster care until the the sgo goes through, we have a member of the the fostering team coming on Thursday, do I just out it there and then? It's not like we have ever avoided the question, it's just never come up until this paperwork came through

NanaNina Wed 14-Nov-12 13:35:09

Surely you have had a CRB check done and if anything had come up about your husband then the sw would have taken it up with him, so not really sure what's going on. Did you or your sw complete a form (that you have to sign) for an enhanced CRB check. It maybe that the CRB hasn't been done or is not yet back. Don't worry - tell the sw on Thursday, stressing that you have not been trying to withhold it, it's just that no-one asked (their fault not yours) I always ask applicants on my first visit if they have any offences as it is best to know early on if they have any Schedule 1 Offences(abuse of children) because the application would end there and then.

I have recommended approval for many foster carers who have offences in the past, and 13 years is a suitably long time for your man to have broken the habit of his teenage and early 20s years. It should not affect your application at all.

Ah have just re-read your post and I think the blue form you mention is the CRB check form and yes your husband's previous convictions will show up. No matter just mention it to the sw and she/he will be prepared. Make sure you mention everything - not sure how many convictions he had, but enter them all on the form. Some people I have assessed have genuinely forgotten the dates etc of their convictions because like your husband's they were so long ago.

Happy fostering!!

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Wed 14-Nov-12 13:37:53

nana the OP has stated her DH doesnt have any convictions, but was a drug user in the past. confused

DecAndAnt Wed 14-Nov-12 21:05:07

I was never asked if I had taken drugs, I've probably only taken drugs about 10 times in my life, a long time ago, but I wasn't asked.
(Well I don't think I was)
The thing is how would they ever find out? They can't do a drugs test, if he wasn't arrested or convicted of anything to do with drugs then I'm not sure it's worth mentioning.
Would it be in his medical records?
I know it's wrong to lie but I'm sure it would be more damaging to lose your niece through all this.

NanaNina Wed 14-Nov-12 21:20:39

Yes I've just re-read the post and it is a bit confusing Suze as I am not clear whether you are saying you were asked about criminal convictions, and you said that neither of you had any, but you do say you were never asked. As I understand it Jaxthe OP has not stated that her DH had no convictions, it was just that they were never asked and the first they knew about it was when they had to complete the form.

However the post does mention that neither of them had any convictions. Could it be that even though your DH did take drugs Suze but was never convicted. If this is the case then there is no need to mention it. However if he does have a conviction you must say so. So long as you are honest you will be OK.

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