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Self doubt

(8 Posts)
hopperty Wed 24-Oct-12 18:13:41

I'm quite new to fostering and have a child in placement. Do many of you have spells of self doubt and question your ability to foster well? I started out with good intentions but am finding that as challenges arise I am constantly second guessing myself and am staring to lose what little confidence I had in myself to do this effectively. It is so much harder than I ever thought it would be and I am starting to think that my experience of bringing up my own dc is not that much help when faced with the difficulties I face now with my fc. Does it get better? Please say it does.

Bluedolphin1971 Wed 24-Oct-12 20:25:54

hi I'm not a Foster Carer but am in the process of applying.

I think it would be natural to self doubt so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. I hope experienced people come along to give you advice soon.

Are you allowed to give a little bit of info as to what is causing these doubts? I'm still trying to find out as much information as I possibly can.

parsnipcake Wed 24-Oct-12 22:08:01

It's normal. I have been fostering for 10 years and still feel like this at times. I try to channel it positively by looking at how I could do things better, but I also try to recognise that every day I keep my children safe and hopefully even if they don't see it now, they will gain something in the future.

Fosterangel Wed 24-Oct-12 22:29:30

Doubts are normal and I do not know of any foster carer who has not felt them. (I would seriously worry about any foster carer who said they had perfected their fostering!). It just shows that you are human and how seriously you take the care of these fragile lo's. Why would you not worry about caring for them when they have their whole lives ahead of them and are already at a disadvantage that your own bc's will never face?

The only thing you need to remember is that fostering is about providing a safe home, warm bed, love, care, good food, access to school, some fun and laughter, hobbies, friendships, warm clothes and anything else is a bonus.

It is probably the hardest job you will ever do so hold that thought and know you are making a difference even if at times the challenges overwhelm you as they do us all at times. My solution to hard times............. cake! Oh, and good friends to share it with. Priceless!!

Panadbois Fri 26-Oct-12 07:37:04

I often feel like this at the start of a placement, and what I crave at this time is confirmation that I'm doing a good job.
If a kind support worker or a social worker recognises this and just says, "you're doing fine", then I'm ok.

So, let me tell you, you are doing a great job of it, everything is fine, you're coping well and carry on with the good work. grin

hopperty Fri 26-Oct-12 14:57:48

Thank you all for your advice and kind words. I shall dust myself down and get on with it reassured that my feelings are quite "normal" smile

RavenVonChaos Fri 26-Oct-12 15:03:40

Why don't you ask for feedback from your fc, and SW?

Fluffanstuff Fri 26-Oct-12 18:01:53

Im not a foster carer yet.... but I work within childcare/family support area. The best people who do this kind of 'job' are those of us that constantly reflect upon what we are doing. A lot of this is doubting ourselves , its what makes us grow , get better and find solutions to things.
I think if you doubt yourself its because you care and you want to do your best , although it doesn't always feel like it in a way its a positive .

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