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Time with own children

(13 Posts)
Catfriend Tue 04-Sep-12 22:19:32

im in the very early stages of looking to foster I am a single parent with a daughter who is 11. I was just wondering if any other foster carers could tell me if they themselves still get to spend quality time with their own child/ren

bonnieslilsister Wed 05-Sep-12 10:22:21

My children are just slightly older than yours and this is something I really miss doing. We have a couple of hours at night when the fc have gone to bed as they are a lot younger than my children but there is usually quite a lot going on like baths and homework or a favourite programme to watch at that time.

NinePeedles Wed 05-Sep-12 12:32:14

In general I would say "yes" but it is good that you are thinking about this, because it can sometimes be difficult. It depends on the age of your fc.

If I have very young ones I would perhaps use the time when they are at contact, or having a nap, or like bonnie when the fc are in bed to spend some special time.

There probably will be times when it seems like your children are getting a raw deal; we had a lot of medical emergencies with our fc over the summer holidays, and spent a lot of time at hospital when we had planned to be doing other lovely things!

Also, depending on your fc, it can be possible to have quality time altogether!

Mrbojangles1 Fri 07-Sep-12 14:31:24

I would use the time they go to contact you do something nice with your child or Can you oh assuming you have one not take the fc to do somthing once a week then you with your kids then swap then they all get time alone with both of you

Good luck its hard making sure you children don't miss out

Catfriend Fri 07-Sep-12 20:30:01

Thanks for replying I'm quite new to this thread hence the long time to reply. What time do FC normally go to contact? Does it vary on a day to day basis? I am interested in fostering younger than my daughter but as of yet still not heard from the sw about the skills to foster course!!!!

bonnieslilsister Fri 07-Sep-12 21:00:31

Unfortunately I have not been lucky enough to have any time with my bc children when fc have had contact except during school hols. I always have to transport to contact, not sure about other areas. Contact where I am can be any time during working hours if it is supervised. If it is after school my bc are not usually home from school at the time I have to leave for this.

NinePeedles Fri 07-Sep-12 21:09:30

catfriend It very much depends on the age of the children and the circumstances of why they are with you, and also where the placement is up to.
If you have a newborn or tiny baby it could be every day. It could be twice a week or once a month. Older children it will be after school. The parent may be in hospital or jail, or not prepared to be fit enough for the contact to take place. If permanence plans are made the contact will be reduced but not stopped, because a judges decision can't be pre-empted without a very good reason in law.
Contact is always tailored to each placement; it is rarely the same.
Hope this helps!

NinePeedles Fri 07-Sep-12 21:17:40

Perhaps should also say it can be supervised or not; you may be asked to do this.
It may take place in your home, or at a family centre or at SS offices. The variations seem endless!
What contact there is to begin with will be written into your placement agreement form.

Catfriend Tue 11-Sep-12 07:39:47

Thanks for your replies I've asked from birth to 8 as I wanted younger than my daughter. My daughter doesn't seem to want to spend time with me these days ha ha 11 and it's uncool!!! I'm just worried incase I got to spend no time with her(altho she maybe happy with that) I still love mother and daughter time and asking a million questions about her day

NinePeedles Tue 11-Sep-12 08:42:45

Haha! Know what you mean!
A trip to a special place for coffee/ fizzy rubbish and cake is a good persuader in this house!
Good luck, hope it goes well!

Catfriend Sat 15-Sep-12 22:14:58

Thanks NinePeedles

I've just been on the first session of the "skills to foster" course which I found very interesting. My daughter is still embarassed at the thought of walking out the house with me these days ha ha

NinePeedles Sat 15-Sep-12 22:29:59

Ah yes, I remember our prep. course, many moons ago!

Glad you enjoyed your first session. You will probably find that as the course progresses some people will drop out as they realise fostering is not for them.

If your daughter is like any of our children she will enjoy the experience too!
(even if it is from 5 paces behind during that phase!)

Catfriend Sat 29-Sep-12 21:43:03

Hi NinePeedles you were right a few people did drop out of the course after the first day!!! I hope my daughter will enjoy it as much as yours.

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