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So what age do you and have you fostered?

(10 Posts)
sharenicely Fri 07-Oct-11 21:03:47

What are the ups and downs for each age?

I'm a respite carer and have a 7 year old at the moment and I'm really enjoying having her. I'm approved for age 4 - 9 yrs and am just thinking about the future and what age I might look after.
I'm thinking I may enjoy looking after older children and may ask to be re-assesed for a higher age at some point.

Interested to hear from people who've looked after teenagers - it does seem a bit daunting.
I know I couldn't look after babies, and think you are all wonderful who do, I just couldn't cope with sleepless nights - again!

shaz298 Sat 08-Oct-11 09:23:51

You may find that you have just as many sleepless nights looking after teneagers than babies............

We are just starting out on our fostering journey, but I worked with vulnerable teenagers for many many years. It is rewarding but very hard and often complex work.

No harm in looking into it but please do go into it with your eyes wide open. Teenagers, as a rule can be tricky to manage, add in the trauma that these young people have experienced and it can ( not always) magnify the whole teenage issues. xxxx

catsrus Sat 08-Oct-11 11:52:35

I have my own, birth, teenagers, and lovely as they and their friend are it will be a long long time before I'm ready to take on teens again! (I had 18yr old + 3 friends arrive home "happy" at 2.30am this morning).

I think remembering what sweet kids they were might be what prevents parents from killing them at this age smile

BusterTheDonk Sat 08-Oct-11 12:20:36

We're on our first 2 LO's - they are now 2 & 3 and have been here just over a year... we were initially approved for 0-6 but at our annual review, the panel explained that it is now common practice (at least within our LA) to re-approve you for as wider age range as possible, so I think we are now 0-11 with a stated preference to 0-6.

I like to think we'll be as 'open' as possible to age ranges when it becomes time to have our next placements (sobs at the thought), I guess each placement/child is individual but I do worry about the "damage" some of the older children may have encountered, and I just don't think we're experienced enough.. and just 'giving it a go' isn't the attitude we should have. (we meaning me & dh).

Its obviously in our minds, and when you've had such a wonderful placement (as we have), its easy to think that is 'your' age range, whereas I know should a completely set of circumstances be put to us, we'd have to seriously consider it... we don't have any dc at home, so other than the dogs, cat & chickens, we don't have to consider anyone else.. grin

marriedtoagoodun Sat 08-Oct-11 13:37:33

We are approved 0-11. We initially were approved 0-8 as that was the age of my birth daughter. We have a placement of four; 8 years old, 7 years old, 5 years old and 22 months (they were 7,6,5 and 15 months when they came.) The 8 year old has been a real revealation in that she is incrediby damaged and to the extent that it is like having a teen. I thought I would be able to guage her abilities as I had an 8 year old girl but I was wrong smile If you have the space and the energy larger sibling groups can be a great joy.

sharenicely Mon 10-Oct-11 20:38:07

married wow I can't believe how many you foster. I am finding 2 a whole lot harder than just 1 so can't begin to imagine how chaotic 5 under one roof is.

Buster I think your probably right about it being more about the child you have that fits rather than it being her age. I do find her alot easier than my 3 year old though.

I met a 17 year old in the reception at social services and she was telling me how she was drunk all weekend, she hated her foster carers and liked her previous placement.
She was a real character and I sort of thought, aww come and live with me but in reality don't think I could cope with a drunk, unhappy 17 year old.

marriedtoagoodun Tue 11-Oct-11 06:14:41

sharenicely I have to say that the three older children (my birth daughter and the two older girls) are good but the boys are hard work. It was hell for the first six weeks but then we all sort of got to know the routine and now it works really well. (Except of course when it doesn't!!!) I only took the two girls initially but the boys placement broke down after two days and I was asked to take them as an emergency on the Friday 'just for the weekend'. We are now 7 months in! Never thought I could do it but whilst not 'enjoying' it it has proved to me what I can do. Though early mornings are a must - which I hate.

Rubyx Wed 12-Oct-11 17:45:52

I have had 6 year old twins, an 18 month old and a fifteen year old and an eight year old. This is within two months lol.
I have a fifteen year old boy, and his eight year old sister,, she is harder work then he is. So it can vary.

sharenicely Thu 13-Oct-11 10:22:36

Rubyx wow a busy two months!
I was speaking to another foster carer and she said she'd never have a 7 year old girl again whereas mine is a dream.

bottersnike Fri 14-Oct-11 11:02:23

We currently have a 8 month old, have previously had a 1 year old, and 3 yr old twin girls.

All have been lovely in their own way, but babies are very time-consuming, so we may look at a school age placement in the future, as dh and I both (attempt to!) work from home as well as foster.

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