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Watching tv in bed

(8 Posts)
sharenicely Thu 06-Oct-11 10:45:39

Hi all I'm a long time mner but very new foster carer.

I've been letting my fc (she is 7) and my ds (3) watch dvds in my bed. The dvd player in the lounge doesn't work.
I know that I'm never allowed in the same bed as my fc but just wondered if this was ok?
I'm thinking it might not be, but didn't want to ask my sw in case I got into trouble.
I also let them have breakfast in bed as a treat last Sunday, again both in my bed.
Oh dear I'm probably doing it all wrong.

BusterTheDonk Thu 06-Oct-11 11:01:51

Welcome sharenicely... (what a fab username btw)

hmm... I'd trust your gut instinct...

We wouldn't do it (despite it being just a fab thing to do) as it potentially puts your ds at risk of a future allegation, or even risk something happening to your ds (extreme I know but you can't be too careful).

My husband doesn't even read a story to the kids (2 & 3) whilst they are in bed - the story is done on the sofa in the playroom... this is after hearing the most horrendous allegation being made to a foster carer's husband...

It is so sad, this should be normal family life, but still we have to do things differently... but at the end of the day, its to protect yourself & your ds so I'd find a slightly different way of doing things...

Welcome to the fostering forum.. hope you stay in touch, and welcome to the mad world of fostering... (i'm still a learner too by the way.. 12months into it) smile

ChooChooWowWow Thu 06-Oct-11 11:39:54

Welcome to fostering sharenicely.

It is a lovely idea but I would a big no to doing it. Even at 3 I think you should be encouraging your ds to keep himself and the foster dc safe from possible harm and/or allegations.
I would get the lounge dvd fixed asap.

SquidgyBrain Thu 06-Oct-11 13:19:21

I third what everyone else has said, it just takes your FC to say something perfectly innocently and someone else to take it out of context and a whole pile of trouble to kick off. I personally would tell your SW as it is going to sound a lot better if you let them know than if it slips out and appears you have been keeping it from them, we all make mistakes.

Welcome aboard too - we are new carers too - it's a huge learning curve!!

sharenicely Thu 06-Oct-11 13:58:00

Yeah I thought so.
It is such a shame, breakfast in bed, while watching tv is such a nice thing to do. Well I like doing it.
It's sad that they can't be treated the same as you would your own but I understand why.
Naively (sp?) i thought as there is so far no known history of sexual abuse that it would be ok and she doesn't really say much of what she's been doing to anyone.
It's her first time in foster care.

Thanks for your advice
Oh well, new DVD player it is!

maypole1 Thu 06-Oct-11 19:29:09

Trust me all it would take was to say something like your dd touched her maybe meaning she put her head on her shoulder that bit would get lost and. All that the social workers would her is that fc was touched don't risk it

bonnieslilsister Fri 07-Oct-11 12:53:54

silly really because sexual inappropiate behaviour and abuse can happen anywhere not just bed.

I would be inclined to have them within hearing/sight all the time period.

shaz298 Fri 07-Oct-11 17:25:13

I'm with bonnie on this one. The assumption that bed is the place of abuse/ allegations is a bit boggling..............I'd go with her advice smile

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