Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Smoking and the foster child

(8 Posts)
Rubyx Thu 15-Sep-11 12:51:04

I had an emergency placement and the fifteen year old is a smoker. He didn't have any in the first two days but was jittery. Offered nicotine patch, gum but he has tried this before and it is no good. He has managed to get hold of cigarettes ( from older sibling when at contact or friends at school who are already 16)
I am only giving him enough money for lunch and bus fare each day.
Other than the fact that smoking is no good for him and that he is underage i have issues with the smell. it is quite bad. He asks for a 2 minute break outside and doesn't smoke in the house but it is on his clothes and his bedroom.
How would all you foster carers deal with this? Other than this he is a lovely lad, polite, helpful, intelligent.

BusterTheDonk Thu 15-Sep-11 14:31:01

find out what your LA/providers policy is on it.

Ours is that they're probably going through enough stress as it is, so why bring on this battle with them... it's your house, as long as they respect it and smoke outside and you don't provide them with cigs then allow it...

Educate where appropriate, facilitate any means should they wish to stop, but at the end of the day, there's bigger issues at stake normally...

I too hate the smell of smoke, but lets face it, it could be a lot worse!!

maypole1 Thu 15-Sep-11 17:40:02

I would make it clear you are a non smoking family I find most smokers, smoke less when they live and are around people who don't somke

I would lay down ground rules personally I don't have smoking anywhere in my home or garden but I have a young dd

NanaNina Thu 15-Sep-11 18:44:29

I'd cut him some slack - as someone has said he is going through a very stressful time and at least smokes outside. You could have a lad who is a heap of trouble and doesn't smoke!

bonnieslilsister Thu 15-Sep-11 21:24:43

Keep focusing on the fact he is a lovely lad, polite, helpful, sounds good to me for a boy that age! how long will he stay? xx

MissVerinder Thu 15-Sep-11 22:39:52

Try distraction? If he asks to go out side, see if he'd mind helping you with something first- it might make the space between fags bigger.

Rubyx Fri 16-Sep-11 18:16:05

Thanks everyone for your response. It is reassuring. I have been letting him go out but wasn't sure if that would be classed as encouraging the smoking. He is under a lot of stress and the smoking and nail biting shows but he is putting on such a brave face. I mainly wanted to ensure that i won't get in any trouble for allowing him. I have offered patches etc
He really is a sweet lad, touch wood it should be sorted in another week and half max

maypole1 Fri 16-Sep-11 19:33:48

May be mention this to the lack nurse and she could maybe give you ways to limit the smoking but like I said

Most people dramatically reduce their smoking when with others who don't My sil has virtually stopped now she is married to a non smoker and know one on my bil side smoke so try not to worry.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: