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Help for a straight single guy !

(12 Posts)
demo Tue 21-Jun-11 16:25:57

I am a single straight man of 46, I have been divorced for nearly 15 years and brought up my 2 children by myself.
My daughter is a nurse and lives away and my son is a children's activities instructor and is away for most of the time.
My son was diagnosed with ADHA and Asperger syndrome at the age of 7.
He was quite of a handful at times but has turned out fantastically independent with a career he loves. Because of him I always said that if I won the lottery I would have a huge house in the country and convert it into a special needs children's home to help others get a good start in adulthood. Alas I can never get past that second number!

I have over the past 6 months been researching fostering and becoming a carer, I am now alone most of the time and have plenty of room so it sounds like a good idea . I have applied to my local council and have been invited to a introduction talk. Although I believe because of my past experience I stand a fair chance of passing the assessments, I am really struggling to get any information about being a single guy wanting to foster, there is plenty on the net about gay guys fostering but that is all couples. Does anyone know of any blogs or websites that can help me. Thanks Demo

anji9012 Tue 21-Jun-11 16:30:40

I have no information really for you, but I just wanted to say, Good on you for considering fostering. and good luck

maypole1 Tue 21-Jun-11 17:01:11

I think your starting point should just be single carers thats how I started off.

For some children due to their experience with their mothers being cared for by a single male will be sooooooo right.

The fostering net work should be able to help if you become a carer I strongly recommend you join them.

Their aren't many but their are a few male single carers in my la not sure if their gay or straight but I very much doubt that will matter.

Their are so many disabled children needing a home so i am sure your la will bite your arm off we are one of only 3 foster families who take disabled/special need children in our la so we are always in demand.

Good luck don't be put off families come in all shapes and sizes

SquidgyBrain Tue 21-Jun-11 17:17:33

Welcome aboard smile

They are screaming out for carers, and for some children a single carer with no children living at home is the ideal environment. I certainly know of single carers in our LA.

I think you will probably struggle to find much information on single men fostering due to I would imagine that there are not that many single men who do.

Good luck and do stay around and let us share your journey

It may be a really helpful thing for other single straight guys in the same position if you started a blog or a fostering journey, and you may find some like minded guys coming out the wood work as a result.

p99gmb Tue 21-Jun-11 17:45:27

Hi.. I can't point you in any direction - other than to say go for it... my SW told me of a single (straight) guy who fosters and she speaks very very highly of him...

I do think you might be restricted to fostering boys due to protecting yourself but I may be wildly wrong (first time for everything thinks DH!! wink)

Male carers play a huge role and for so many you would be ideal so please don't worry and come and join the mad world of fostering!! wink

mumsiepie Wed 22-Jun-11 17:52:49

Good for you! I hope you enjoy the information evening and decide to go on to foster.

I am single too and know of other single carers in our LA plus a main carer who is male and his wife works. What age group do you hope to foster?

The only downside of being single and fostering is your social life becomes non existent unless you do respite, I suppose!

demo Wed 22-Jun-11 20:33:13

What social life ? I have not had one of those since my teens haha

I am looking at maybe enhanced foster care for older children/ teenagers with behavioral, emotional, social, vocational and academic problems, from past experience with my son I think I could be a good addition. I would foster any age but I live in a flat with 7 flights of stairs and no lift, so not much good for pushchairs or wheelchairs.

mumsiepie Wed 22-Jun-11 21:24:27

No doubt you will be in great demand!

My brother used to live in a flat with 7 flights of stairs and no lift and used to carry his bike up and down.....so that is no excuse!!

demo Wed 22-Jun-11 22:17:05

Shopping in one hand, pushchair in the other , baby over your shoulder. So where on earth do you put the changing mat ,blanket, 3 changes of clothes, 2 bottles clean nappies and the dirty ones, your large selection or creams lotions wipes and powders, toys and your you still have to get your keys out of your pocket to get in ! haha

maypole1 Thu 23-Jun-11 09:56:48

I am looking at maybe enhanced foster care for older children/ teenagers with behavioral, emotional, social, vocational and academic problems, from past experience with my son I think I could be a good addition.

Demo sadly all foster children have one or all these issues All foster care is enhanced

I think you will be a asset

demo Thu 23-Jun-11 10:15:11

Sorry, I do understand Maypole, I was just refuring to Enhanced Fostering Scheme for children and young people, this is one type of fostering scheme run by Surrey my LA

mumsiepie Thu 23-Jun-11 14:44:24

You could just stay in all the time!

Or Tesco delivery for the shopping, use a sling to carry little one and stuff a nappy in your pocket for emergencies!

Toys, lotions and powders are over rated!

Where there is a will.....

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