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An unsuitable placement?

(5 Posts)
babytinkabell Sat 04-Jun-11 19:22:23

My 14 year old foster daughter has been with us just over a year. Over the year it became clear that she had psychiatric problems and she is being treated for such, medically and with counselling. Her behaviour over the last 6 months has been extreme to say the least, 5 suicide attempts, high levels of sexual activity, lying, stealing etc. After much discussion with all social workers involved dh and I decided we needed a break. We decided it would be better if she were moved to a different placement, possibly on a respite basis but that hasn't been totally decided yet. So she was moved yesterday. The social workers were being a bit vague about her new placement any time I asked them. Yesterday morning as she was leaving they told me the family she is going to have 2 teenage sons aged 14 and 16 and a 15 year old foster son. I am horrified that they would consider this as a suitable placement. I mentioned my concern about her living with teen boys, she has been quite promiscuous lately. they just said that the foster mum has assured them the kids will be supervised at all times.
I know there's not much I can do but I'm fuming. I was upset about her leaving anyway. I miss her so much and feel guilty as I feel we have let her down. But this just makes me feel even worse. The social workers have been so great over the last year, really helpful and supportive. I feel like they've really messed up here though.

maypole1 Sat 04-Jun-11 20:27:04

you haven't let her down your doing all you can as are we all.

i guess though when it boils down to it they will say if they waited for a good match she might never have moved.

i just hope for the foster carers sake she really has talked to her sons, are you sure they have told her this girls full history as she may have got the light version

babytinkabell Sat 04-Jun-11 20:32:18

I have a feeling she has been given a watered down version of the childs background. We were willing to keep her until a suitable placement was found, thats the annoying thing. We didn't call and demand she be moved immediately or anything. I just think they could have found somewhere better than this. No offence to the parents, I am sure they are great, just too many boys there for my liking smile

maypole1 Sat 04-Jun-11 22:47:51

I agree she probably would of needed a single female carer.

SquidgyBrain Sat 04-Jun-11 23:57:27

babytinkabell, I am totally with maypole on this one you haven't let her down.

I really can't believe that they have thought that this is a suitable placement on so many levels. I am sure that you are a great foster mum, but you haven't been able to stop her being promiscuous*, and I dare say her new foster mum also will do a great job, but has she been able to stop her 15 year old foster son being promiscuous? Are they planning to lock the young people in their bedrooms overnight???

Hoping this all turns out alright in the end - hang in there!

*NOT blaming you at all for her behaviour, or suggesting she hasn't been supervised adequately just making the point that you have been doing all you can for her but you can't be with her 24/7

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