DH would prefer to adopt, and so would I, but I am not sure we would be allowed. Is the same criteria used for choosing foster parents? I know nothing about how to go about it, and tbh it is too soon for us atm, but would like to know now if we would never be approved iyswim.
I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give us.
Why do you think you wouldn't be able to adopt? Firstly, adoption and fostering are entirely different, and are not interchangeable. Mybe fostering is for you, but it's not anything like adoption (as a rule). The only criteria to be assessed as carers are pretty much having a spare room and time, but the assessment process will look into things like your relationship, histories, attitudes etc. The only thing I could think of that might stop you adopting would be age, and there re lots of older foster carers. If you are interested you can contact your local authority for a chat. hey will talk it through with you en if you are not ready to apply yet.
I am still very much learning to be a mother and having children has made me ill but I don't blame them, it is just a fact. I was in care and sometimes feel things are no better now. I would want to take them all home.
CTW is right, you do have to consider these things, but you also have to consider how your DH would be able to help, if you were unwell could/would your DH take over.
Adoption does have much stricter guidelines, we would probably not allowed to adopt due to my weight - where it wasn't really an issue at all, the reasons being is children who are being adopted have been through enough without having to deal with the loss or serious health scares with their adoptive family.
As long as you and your DH could cope as a unit well I wouldn't rule yourself out. But of course you know your history where I don't.
It might be worth considering fostering initially then looking into either permeant fostering (similar to adoption) or adoption at a later stage
DH would prefer to adopt as he wouldn't want to give the children back. I would get attached too but still think fostering is helping even if only for a few days/weeks. TBH I would be attached after such a short space of time whatever. MIL went a funny colour when I told her we were thinking about adopting so wouldn't get any support there.
Fostering article you might want to read (not trying to put you off...kids need people like you) but it was an eye-opener.
As for mental health issues I would refer to them at interviews/screening process as giving you insight/empathy/experience first hand into some of the issues/feelings youngsters may face.
But i would make sure you are up to it emotionally/mentally and that any past issues are resolved now as you might find fostering brings back stuff or causes stresses etc
Please don't think i am patronising - i have had prozac seroxat etc self-harmed as a young adult and had pnd later. When a change of circs required a medical reference depression was mentioned and i was livid...low and behold following the change in circs i was depressed.
Here is the article from guardian three weeks ago - a year in the life of a foster parent.