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Standby for evening rounds.

(30 Posts)
SmallShips Thu 09-Oct-08 20:25:19

Do your DH/DP bring the military home? Aside from all the naval slang he uses and confuses our DS with, DH has informed me that he intends on doing evening rounds when the DC are old enough to stand to attention at the foot of their beds (i hope hes joking, but hes so Jack, i'm certain hes not).

nell12 Thu 09-Oct-08 21:00:31

We have a sign on our toilet door... "Head" hmm
We have a doby bin and of course the meals are called by their military names... babies heads, s**t on a raft, acne ricardo etc etc etc

Even the kids know their Port and Starboard

Oh, the shame of it all!

DH even winds the plug chain around the plug when he (once in a blue moon) cleans the bathroom sinks... apparently it is called cheesing down; God only knows why!

Chopchopmissy Thu 09-Oct-08 21:02:25

My DH often tells our DS to "dress back" and me to "Stand BY" Not quite sure what I am waiting form on the last one. They just cant help themselves!

SmallShips Thu 09-Oct-08 21:07:23

Oh yes "stand by" i get that ALOT.

Lol at the heads, we dont have that (only a matter of time though) we do have a doby bin and doby dust.

Whenever were driving and we turn left or right and have to check for traffic, we have to say "clear to port/clear to starboard" Every bloody time!!

priceyp Thu 09-Oct-08 21:10:33

My son is often told to "listen in". Dh RAF so we get lots of TLA's not much of the stand by your bed type stuff luckily. What's a doby bin and doby dust?

SmallShips Thu 09-Oct-08 21:12:35

Doby bin - washing basket.
Doby dust - washing powder.

priceyp Thu 09-Oct-08 21:19:06

Ah thank you, we say "clear left" when checking for traffic grin

Sidge Thu 09-Oct-08 21:19:54

LOL we have loads of these!

Stand by
Listen in
Snorkers in fearnoughts (sausage rolls)
Left wheel (as in, turn left)
Fancy a wet (would you care for a cup of tea?)
Off to my scratcher (going to bed)
Spin us a dit (tell us a story)

Look you can buy a whole book of Jack Speak!

SmallShips Thu 09-Oct-08 21:26:09

Ah yes, do you want a wet and spinning a dit.

The Jack speak book is my little brothers christmas present sorted, he joins the mob in January. He can brush up before he gets to Raleigh lol.

priceyp Thu 09-Oct-08 21:35:32

I have the Jack Speak book, t'was my grandads! There's also an RAF joke book, it has blank pages. Boom boom.

nell12 Thu 09-Oct-08 21:37:25

we have both those books blush

SmallShips Thu 09-Oct-08 21:40:47

lol priceyp.

Nell i take my hat off to you, you are the queen of jack. grin

Sidge Thu 09-Oct-08 22:00:15

Fess up Nell you wrote them didn't you?


jcscot Fri 10-Oct-08 00:44:23


Frequent phrases used around here include:

Stand by
Heads up
Listen in
Watch my tracer
Slow flash to bang ratio
Clear left/right

etc etc

I'm sure there are some I'm missing.

My husband informs me that he intends to teach the boys drill...poor wee things!

pinkprawn Fri 10-Oct-08 02:46:08

Have you heard of a Snurglie (a minor snag) and SNAFU!
My friend knows an army guy who when he is out at the park has taught his kids to run to him when he puts his hand on his head - apparently something they do on patrol to get everyone to close up without shouting at them!

HauntedHouseMate Fri 10-Oct-08 05:07:23


Clear left / clear right
Watch my tracer
Listen in
Flash to bang
Going spare (getting lost)

and more

(poor dd!)

nell12 Fri 10-Oct-08 19:12:30

My dc also say
"Tally singleton" if they see a plane


If only I had written the Jackspeak book, but alas that honour (and subsequent royalties) goes to the famous Doc Jollie who had the unfortunate pleasure of treating DH when he was ill during his time at Dartmouth!

flossie64 Sat 11-Oct-08 15:50:06

My Dh is RAF ,but we still get some of those sayings ( he did spend 3yrs on sxchange with RN though.
Clear left/right
Stand by
loads of TLA's
and bizzarely shreddies(boxer shortshmm)
Also my DD was in the 2nd WW (Army) and he had a few from his time in India.
Cha -tea

empressorchid Sun 12-Oct-08 21:51:07

Oh this thread is making me LOL. My DH is RAF too but we get a few of these:

Clear left/right
listen in - which he also says to the pets!
TLAs aaargh

Must be more but can't think of them at the moment. Must remember NOT to let DH see this thread, he will get too many ideas grin

SmallShips Sun 12-Oct-08 22:05:42

Was sat minding my own business earlier when all of a sudden DH starts yelling "standy to check chemical and general alarms"... he was testing the bloody smoke alarms.

On the subject of smoke alarms, everytime i set them off when cooking he yells "fire, fire, fire, fire in the kitchen, duty watch to muster at the scene" and then 10 seconds later "the fire was extinguished, the fire was extinguished, duty watch stand down" I HAVE NEVER SET FIRE TO ANYTHING IN THE KITCHEN!! Tis very annoying and God knows what the neighbours think.

We saw sea cadets doing drill in a carpark earlier and he yelled out the window "squad left wheel" he is very, very embarrassing.

empressorchid Sun 12-Oct-08 22:08:41

Oh but from an observers point of view you have to laugh - I am rofl at your posts smallships, but know I would be dying of shame if it was my DH!!

SmallShips Sun 12-Oct-08 22:19:42

I can't really expect anything more from him, he has salt water running through his veins with the biggest anchor tattoo you've ever seen lol.

He said to me yesterday that his team has a new boat and hes going to bring it over for the weekend. Ah yes we will pop out on the MODs new, shiny, expensive boat, no one will bat an eye lid hmm.

empressorchid Sun 12-Oct-08 22:22:12

Ooh smallships - that'll be a day out and a half for the DCs!!!! grin Don't forget to take your camera!!

WeatherWitch Tue 21-Oct-08 17:58:43

DP and I are both RN. And so are all our friends. Sometimes forget what normal speech is - drives both our families insane. Just when we think we're being normal one of us will come out with something like "fair wind behind the sea dust, shippers" at dinner (= pass the salt) and everybody will stare... Smallships - I completely sympathise, we set the smoke alarm off the other week (when we had friends over) and we'd announced the location of the FCP, gone to emergency stations and mustered all spare hands in the living room before control was regained. That's so sad, can't believe I just admitted to it.

LapinsBeenMarried4Years Tue 21-Oct-08 18:12:48

Oh god we use most of these blush (I can confirm that Nell is very jack though grin)

Another one, don't think mentioned so far - "short finals". As in "where are you?" "I'm on short finals to Waitrose" grin

Port and starboard eating spanners, anyone? Gash? Sitrep?

Mind you, I am worse than DH, I used to go out with a Royal Marine and still say "hoofing!" and "threaders" etc all the time blush

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