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Working whilst he is away...hints and tips anyone?

(16 Posts)
Notyummy Wed 01-Oct-08 18:37:42

I work 4 days a week in a job with a long commute, although I can occasionally work from home. DD (2)happily setted into nursery for last 18 months 7 30am - 5 30 pm. Dh drops her (I leave at 6 15am) and I then leave work at 4pm to pick her up at 5 30.

Increasingly DH is going to be away, which, as I know well, is all part of the job. We have managed before, as I have been very upfront with my employers when they took me on about the commute it would entail, and about DHs job and its knock on effects for me.

I do have moments of paranoia though...I have to go to LOndon for a meeting next week when he is away (we live in Lincs). What happens if the trains break?? He is away. Nearest family 3/4 hours drive away...I have a few mates in the area, but not that many, and quite possibly busy. Don't live on the patch, so not that sort of network.

What does everyone else do?

Notyummy Wed 01-Oct-08 18:55:23

bump

Romy7 Wed 01-Oct-08 18:59:37

you have to make a decision whether to continue working and take the chance that the train will never be late, or sort out a safety net, or decide you can't cope with the risk. it's a royal pita.

maybe a cm could be persuaded to take dd on a random basis on the days you are working in london if they are infrequent? you would end up paying both, obviously, but at least you know that your dd would never be left sitting at nursery with no-one to collect her, she would be in a home environment?

Romy7 Wed 01-Oct-08 19:00:16

i got a nanny lol. but i did have to leave at 6 in the morning, so there really wasn't another option! au pair?

Romy7 Wed 01-Oct-08 19:00:49

some folk do get an au pair whilst dh is away - know a couple...

priceyp Wed 01-Oct-08 19:08:20

What time does the nursery close? Maybe they can keep her longer if neccessary. This actually happened to me a few years ago, got stuck when my car broke down and ds was at nursery eating his tea and no hope of me getting to him on time. The nursery manager was brilliant and sat with him having a cuddle and watching a film until I got there. TBH they are never going to put her on the drive with her coat and hat on waiting for you to arrive! As long as it's not taking the mick, once every now and again with pre-warning a good nursery should take in their stride. IME in an emergency when you're in a flap, the best thing that can happen is someone saying "don't worry about it - get here when you can".
CM is prob a good idea as an emergency contact though!

VanillaPumpkin Wed 01-Oct-08 19:09:48

Oh difficult. Partly why I have been a SAHM so far (that and having no career to go back to hmm)
Aupair sounds sensible tbh, or you need to get friendlier with the people you know who could be your stand ins. Realistically you probably won't need them but you are v sensible to consider all eventualities.
Hope something comes up for you.

nell12 Wed 01-Oct-08 19:14:42

I agree with everyone else; life with dh away is stressful enough, withouth the added worry of childcare and a long commute; you need a big safety net... a child minder, an au pair or even a one of the nursery staff who would be able to keep dd later (either at nursery or their own home, or even take her back to your home and look after her there)

scotlass Wed 01-Oct-08 19:17:53

I was in this situation when DD was young and we were both forces. TBH I had an absolutely fantastic CM who was a complete angel sent from heaven and really looked after DD and me at times. Sometimes she had two weeks off when DH was at home on leave but we always paid our contracted hours so the odd occassion I couldn't get home on time I just had to phone and explain and she kept her. TBH nursery wasn't an option for us (I used to have to leave at 7am, did nursing shifts) and my DD grew up with someone who loved her almost as much as her mum.

Romy7 Wed 01-Oct-08 20:36:02

on one memorable occasion i had to leave dd1 with the cm for 5 days... grin at 20 minutes notice lol. you can find great childminders if you're lucky...

Notyummy Wed 01-Oct-08 23:01:41

Thanks everyone! Not ignoring you, just out! Tried CM, but no one round here prepared to do random times, even when I offered to also put her with the CM for a day each week as well. DH (and I, TBH) not keen on the whole privacy issue of having au pair in the house, although it may need to happen next year when it looks like he may be away more than he is at home.

Could afford a nanny, I suppose, but I am too tight.

Will continue to try and network and build other links. Actually, just been to a 'partners' do hosted by DH's Boss' wife (not as bad as it sounds!) and was hoping to find kindred spirits/helpful souls. They are all very nice, but live at least 30 mins away (bit far to ask people?) and none of them who have kids under 10 work, so might feel guilty asking.

Good to know that I am not alone though. smile

Romy7 Wed 01-Oct-08 23:07:01

how are you going to do the mornings? i hadn't noticed the start time if dh is away - i can't see anyone except a live-in being content to start at 6.15?
my live-out nanny would occasionally do a very early start if dh was away, or a sleepover if we both were, but i have a total paranoia about relying on goodwill. i prefer a contracted business relationship so i know the dcs are content... got 3 though, so forking out for 3 lots of childcare it was a no brainer to get a nanny...

Notyummy Thu 02-Oct-08 07:11:42

I leave at that time to allow me to be at desk for 7 45 and then can leave at 4pm feeling that I have put in a reasonable days work. Work know when DH is away that I can't be in office before 9 and need to leave at 4 because of nursery times. When I can work at home (1 or sometimes 2 days a week) then I can be 'at work' for 8am, having dropped dd off at nursery.

abba1772 Sun 05-Oct-08 16:56:05

i'd keep trying with the childminders hun you'll find someone.

i would do it for you if i were nearer x x x x

chocolatelady Sun 05-Oct-08 23:06:49

Hi My hubby had gone 5 weeks ago and mt deal was to have an aux pair. I would not be avble to carry a normal lifa without one at the moment. I can work evening when she babysits and am around during the day for the school runs and available for preschool hours! You need to find a flexible job that allows you to work bu at the same time be around for the kids. I have been on my own before and nealry gone insane! Its very hard when your family is mile away!My aux pair is very nice and I don't have to pay much £50 per week!!!! well worth it!

Notyummy Mon 06-Oct-08 13:05:08

Thanks all! Working from home or in London (for short meeting) 3 days this week, so not too bad. 3 hour commute on 3 days next week....boo!!

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